#aiden butterfly
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flx-res · 10 months ago
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Finalmente, aquí esta el tercer bebo tomstar que les habia prometido mis seguidores de tumblr 💛💙
Star and Tom will have another baby boy in their early 40s. Since Aiden will become the king of the Underworld and Serena the queen of Butterfly Kingdom at that time their parents will be able to raise another child without complications 🫶💘💕
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disventure-rewrite-takes · 5 months ago
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i would give the S2 cast some actual screen time and plot relevance that doesn't always involve the S1 cast. the S2 cast got done SO DIRTY by the boot order that sometimes i forget lake was even in this season. in all honesty, DCAS really just feels like S1 part 2 ft. aiden, that's how unbalanced the screen time feels, at least to me. and speaking of aiden, please God give him something to do that doesn't involve jake and/or tom. its frustrating to see him be completely dependent on another pair of characters for the second season in a row to have plot relevance. -the disgruntled butterfly anon 🦋
also, please let’s stray away from tom and jake for a bit. the season feels like a badly written tomjake fic, they get way too much screentime. maybe we can actually get some S2 cast development with connor back, but the rest are just background characters: ally is irrelevant, riya is annoying and yul is... uh... well, yul.
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mini-minish · 7 months ago
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💜✨ short rest before mission ✨💜
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khrused-archived · 9 months ago
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the most frustrating thing, probably the hardest thing to do, and also the best thing you can do is not sleep with hera right away. and trust she will try. many times. and veryy hard. especially by date three... she'll hate it lol she'll think you don't like her and she'll be very confused about it ... but it's also really important for her to realize and see that someone is really interested in her or wants to really be with her -- and it'll be such !! a wow moment for her. i love it.
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aidendh · 1 year ago
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BSD! OC! Ayato Satoshi |P1
Rework of my RAU! Fyodor Hinata
Ayato Satoshi | Fyodor Hinata
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Kanji: 日向 • フョードル
Romanji: Hinata Fyōdoru
Also Known As:
Fyodor Dostoevsky (birth name),
Fyodor Hinata (real name),
Ayato Satoshi (Alias),
Brazhnik (Butterfly Miraculous)
Namesake: Ayato Satoshi (short story writer)
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-:Personal Information:-
Status: Reincarnated
Gender: Male (he/him)
Sexuality: Asexual Gay-Aromantic
Birthday: 11th November
Age: 34 (Gifted War Arc), 26 (Tower/Casino Arc), 25 (Persona Arc), 20 (Meeting the Tsushimas), 14-15 (Assassin School), 12 (Russia)
Height: 189cm (6'2")
Weight: Unknown
Blood Type: Unknown
Likes: Tea, cooking, his children, psychological torture, fruit cake
Dislikes: Yozo Tsushima, needles, getting wet, boredom
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-:Professional Information:-
Ability: Crime and Punishment
Reference: Tales of Crimes and Punishment (Рассказы о Преступлениях и Наказаниях, Rasskazy o Prestupleniyakh i Nakazaniyakh)
Occupation: Informant, Founder/Leader of The Rats House of the Dead
Affiliation: The Spider Lilly, The Rats House of the Dead, Kunugigaoka Junior High (former), Russian Military (former)
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-:Metaverse Information:-
Name: Fyodor Hinata
(formerly, Fyodor Dostoevsky)
Location: Japan
(Formerly, Krysa Orphanage)
Distortion: Empire
Treasure: Amethyst/Silver Butterfly Neckless
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-:Relationships:-
Family:
Unnamed Parents
Anya Dostoevsky✝ (younger sister)
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Atsushi Hinata (adopted son)
Nagisa Hinata (adopted daughter)
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Akira Kurusu (former foster son)
Sayuri Kitagawa (former foster daughter)
Goro Hinata (adopted son)
Naoto Mori (honorary brother)
Karma Hinata (adopted son)
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Ember Hinata (adopted son)
Shoto Hinata (adopted son)
Neito Hinata (adopted son)
Galina Hinata (adopted daughter)
Aoi Hinata (adopted son)
Hazel Hinata (adopted son)
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Karma Akabane (son-in-law)
Kyo Akabane (adopted grandson)
Cho Akiko (honorary sister)
Radio/Mirabella Schmidt (honorary sister)
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Takeo Kagami (honorary sister)
Chuuya Kagami (honorary nephew)
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Archi Akabane (adopted grandson)
Juleka Hinata (adopted granddaughter)
Goro Akechi (adopted grandson)
Hinata Hua (adopted granddaughter)
Victor Hinata (adopted grandson)
Fyodor Dostoevsky (book/younger brother)
Pets: Zvezda (male Chinchilla)
--
-:Appearances:-
Manga Debut: Lost Souls, Prologue
Anime Debut: Bungou Stray Dogs: Lost Souls, Prologue
Light Novel Debut: The Hinata Family
--
-:Portrayal:-
Japanese Voice: Akira Ishida
English Voice: Ray Chase
--
"
Fyodor Hinata (日向 • フョードル,, Hinata Fyōdoru, Original: Фёдор 日向, Fyódor Hinata) was the founder and leader of The Rats House of the Dead and as Ayato Satoshi, an Informant of The Spider Lilly. His Ability is named Crime and Punishment
Personality: Manipulative, Caring, Polite, Clever, Sadistic, Introvert, Calm, Confidant, Honest
Confidant/Arcana: Judgment
[Continued in P2]
Ayato Satoshi (Casual/Formal/PJs)
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A Loving Father with a passion for cooking
Ability: Crime and Punishment* Astral Projection, Death Inducement
Confidant: Judgment
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Fyodor Dostoevsky (Work/Formal)
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Founder of the RHD and owner of Krysa Orphanage
Ability: Crime and Punishment* Death Inducement
Confidant: Judgment
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Fyodor Hinata (Work/Formal)
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An Incarnate and Loving Father of the Hinata family
Ability: Crime and Punishment* Astral Projection, Death Inducement
Confidant: Judgment
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Brazhnik (Butterfly! Fyodor)
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A Miraculous Villain who takes good care of Nooroo
Power: Metamorphosis* Gives the target superpowers
Miraculous: Broach (under shirt)
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Punishment (Dostoevsky/Hinata)
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A Wondering Soul who is one with their user
User: Fyodor Hinata
Ability: Crime and Punishment
Confidant: Judgment
--
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umbrakinetix · 2 years ago
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Tumblr messaging system is homophobic. I should not accidentally be able to send an artist their own post
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messylustt · 2 years ago
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hii since u said you’d do something for stilinski can i request a fic where the alpha twins were just introduced and stiles and reader (best friends) like each other (everyone in the pack knows but them) and reader thinks stiles doesn’t like her so they start hanging out with the twins more and stiles gets jealous and it’s like a angry love confession and maybe smut?
++ thank u so much for taking the time to read & write this!! your writing is actually making me happy as sappy as that sounds💗💗
you’re my friend, not theirs — stiles stilinski + reader ( teen wolf ) : stiles getting jealous over the blooming friendship between you and the twins.
contents : jealous!stiles. kissing. sorry no actual p in v. i need to watch teen wolf again — that shit was gooood, and thank you so much ur actually so sweettt
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"I want one." Lydia said, eyes focused behind you and Allison.
You both turn in your chairs to see the two new twins talking by a bookshelf. "Which one?" Allison asked, turning back. You kept your gaze on the twins, mainly for the fact that they were said—by your strange friend group—to be alphas.
Why they chose to go to school you could only guess. Most likely not to actually enjoy classes, but to keep an eye on said strange friend group.
"The straight one." You answered for Lydia. "I'd hope." You turn back in your chair to see Lydia narrowing her eyes.
You smile, just as Stiles slumps in the free chair beside you. Scott taking one beside Lydia. You glance back around at the twins, tilting your head in a slight observation.
Then you feel a poke on your arm. You turn your head to face Stiles, who is eyeing you with furrowed brows. "What are you looking at?"
"Our new classmates." You say, gazing back.
"You know they're alphas, right?" Stiles asks, making you nod. "Like, deadly...scary alphas?" He re-asks narrowing his eyes, as you chuckle.
"I heard they can shift into...like...one big werewolf." You say, in slight awe.
Stiles scoffs. "It's not that impressive."
"It kind of is." You mutter. Then you hear your seat scraping against the floor as Stiles jolts you around to face away from the twins.
"Do you know the distinction between friends and enemies?" Stiles asks, making you scoff. "Scott, did you know that y/n's rather stupid?" He asks Scott, making you elbow his arm.
"Yeah. She thinks the twins are cool." He continues, as you try to shut him up with your hand.
"I'm not the only one." You say defensively, before gesturing to Lydia, who is still eyeing up the straight twin.
"Well that's...Lydia." Stiles grabs your wrist, removing your hand from his mouth.
"Wow, your reasoning is impeccable, Stiles."
Stiles tilts his head at your sarcasm, the edges of his lips curving up a fraction. You get your wrist out of his grip before looking at Lydia—Allison and Scott caught up in conversation. "It's called having taste, Stiles."
Stiles raises his brows. "Taste?" He nearly exclaims. "Did you get hit in the head?"
"Alright...I'm gonna head to science." You say, ignoring stiles, standing, as the others spare you 'goodbyes'.
Stiles calls to your leaving form. "You have zero taste, y/n. Nada!"
You chuckle as you walk out into the hall. Stiles has been your best friend for almost forever. You enjoyed his jokes and even his incessant sarcasm. But you hated the fact that whenever he smiled butterflies would swarm your stomach. Whenever he would look at you a certain way your cheeks would pinken.
You had to brush it all way, knowing he wouldn't feel the same. And ruining such a long friendship would be horrible. Your mind is caught as you nearly collide with someone.
"Shit— sorry." You say looking up, holding a tighter grip on your notes.
One of the alpha twins stares back at you, a small smirk edging his lips. You quickly take in his appearance and the way he holds himself. "And I'd take it your the...straight one?"
He chuckles before beginning to nod. "Aiden." He introduces.
You nod. "Nice to meet you."
He raises his brows awaiting your own introduction. You go to speak, opening your mouth, but pause, seeming to remember exactly who Aiden is. "Will I be in danger if you know my name?" You whisper ask.
Aiden leans down to whisper back. "You might be safe."
"I might?" You ask, raising your brows.
Aiden smirks. "A pretty face usually makes it far."
Your mouth partly opens in slight shock. "Ha. So, you are a flirt." You straighten up. "Lydia's gonna love you."
"Mm, and what about you?" He asks, brushing a strand of hair away from your shoulder.
You chuckle. "Again—Lydia's gonna love you." You then step around him, walking into your class.
Stiles had seen one of the alpha twins follow you out. And of course, with a narrowed gaze—he followed him. He stopped upon seeing the twin speaking to you. Stiles' grip on the doorway was tight as he watched. A scowl formed as he saw the twin brush your hair over your shoulder, you chuckling about something.
What the hell were you talking about?—Stiles wondered, wishing he had scott's hearing. His stomach had tightened the moment he saw you with him. Hating seeing you smile at the enemy. But it wasn't just for the sake that it was the twin you were talking to. Stiles would feel like it no matter what dude it was. He wanted you to smile at him like that. Not someone else.
When you passed the twin for your class Stiles saw the way he eyed your form before leaving for his own class. Stiles scoffed to himself, glaring holes into the back of the alpha's head. No way was that beast getting you.
A few days had passed and through the halls you had caught yourself talking to the twins. It started off brief, just passing nods and a few hello's. But then you started picking up conversations where you'd left off the next time you'd pass eachother.
Stiles saw as you would wave at them or smile, them cracking a joke or a compliment. On the occasion that he would walk with you, Stiles' expression couldn't be more gloomy. You'd bump his shoulder making a comment on the "glare" he'd mastered, but Stiles' couldn't laugh, only hearing Aiden's compliments on your outfit or hair.
At first he didn't want to acknowledge that he was jealous. Because then he'd have to remember his large crush on you. He had had to push it away, knowing you wouldn't feel the same. You were freinds, and Stiles hid behind that concept, forcing himself to reason his glares to him just being a good friend, not wanting you to date someone like Aiden.
But once the days drew out, you and the twins seeming to grow closer, Stiles finally accepted his jealousy. You were his friend not there's. So, when he saw you smile and blush at a compliment Aiden gave you, he couldn't help himself but grab your wrist and pull you somewhere secluded.
You swiftly turned to face Stiles as you stared at him in confusion. You both are in the boys locker room, it being empty—the laccrosse team not practicing today. "What the hell-"
"What the hell is that?" Stiles cuts you off angrily. You stare at him, brows furrowing.
"What?"
"That." Stiles gestured to the now closed door. "Them. The twins."
"Aiden and Ethan?" You ask.
Stiles scoffs at the first name basis. "Yeah, Aiden and Ethan."
"What about them?" You slowly ask, never really having seen Stiles so mad.
Stiles clenches his jaw, all the past days annoyance bubbling up. "What about them? Really, y/n?"
Your still displaying confusion, as Stiles steps closer. "Why the fuck are you talking to them?"
"You're mad at me becasue I've said hi?"
"Oh, you've said more than hi." Stiles scoffs. "You keep talking with them in the halls as if your the closest of friends."
"Look Stiles, I know you don't like them. And I know they aren't particually saints. But if you spoke to them you'd realise how not in control they are. Deucalion—"
"I don't care for their sobstory, y/n. And you shouldn't either. You barely know them." Stiles has progressively gotten closer, before he's backing away, running his hands through his hair in annoyance. "God." He mutters.
"Stiles." You say, making him meet your gaze. "What is this?" Your tone has stayed calm, not wanting to start an arguement with Stiles of all people. "Are you okay?"
"No, y/n. I'm not." He finally says, fully stepping closer. You slightly stumble back at how swift his movement was. "Why do you want to talk to them?"
"Stiles, they...they're nice. They make me feel good, strangely enough."
"They make you feel good?" Stiles asks, eyeing you.
"They make me laugh. They are quite funny." You mutter, seeing how close Stiles is getting.
"Oh." Stiles chuckles, though the humour is lost. "Aren't they just amazing. Making you laugh and smile. You even blush around Aiden."
Your cheeks begin to redden on embarrassment as you cough. "No, I don't."
"Yeah, you do. And it's really annoying." Stiles says. "You know what else is annoying?" You meet his gaze, pressing your lips together. "The fact that you're blushing for him right now."
You scoff. "I'm not."
You can feel Stiles' breath hit your face. "I really hope that's true."
"Stiles, why are you so angry about this?"
And he cracks. "Because I don't want you to like some rabid wolf, I want you to like me!"
Stiles freezes, processing what he just revealed. Fuck. You stare at him, mouth beginning to open.
"What..." You drift off, your heart beating rapidly in your chest.
"I-" Stiles begins, stepping back, shocked and incredibly nervous at his own words. "I didn't-"
"You...like me?" You slowly ask.
Stiles goes to shake his head for fear of your rejection, but then he thinks of Aiden, and switches to a small nod.
Now your shocked, confirmation that his first confession wasn't a slip up. Silence has engulfed the locker room and Stiles can't bear it. "Say something...please."
"I didn't know...you liked me like that." You mutter, your life long crush's words having taken a toll on you.
He couldn't let you date Aiden and now you knew why. But your moments of silence were crushing his heart. He began to step farther away, thinking he just ruined your friendship, when you quickly grabbed his cheeks, and kissed him.
Stiles eyes widened, before they became hooded, the feel of your soft lips making his stomach do somersaults. But then your pulling away far too soon, eyes wide, your own shock at what you just did easily visible.
But Stiles doesn't waste another moment, smashing his lips back to yours. You slightly stumbled back at the force as Stiles began to lick and eat at your lips. He groaned into your mouth when he was able to finally push himself against you, your back hitting a locker.
"Oh, god." Stiles muttered against your lips. "This means you like me back...right?" He asks as he began to kiss your cheek and jaw, leading all the way to your neck, as his hand slipt around your waist.
"No, Stiles." You sarcastically say, making him chuckle against your skin. You grab his face, bringing him back to your face. "Kissing you doesn't mean I like you." You kiss him, your tongues eagerly meeting.
"I'm glad you've picked up my sacrasm." He says, continusously kissing you. "Otherwise that would hurt."
You smile into the kiss, your head buzzing with this reality. You had begun to unbutton his jeans, making his breath hitch, but he quickly grabs your hand, making you meet his gaze in question. "I didn't like hearing that the twins make you feel good." Stiles says, putting your hands over his shoulders, as he lead one of his hands back down.
He unbuttoned your jeans, slipping his hand inside making you grip his shirt. "I want to make you feel good." Stiles kisses you, as he reaches your panties, pushing them aside as he finds your wetness. You jolt when his fingers find your clit. "Much better than them." He whispered as he began to rub your pussy, circling around.
"Christ." You whispered into his neck, before your head hit back against the locker.
Stiles trailed one finger to your hole, pushing inside, making you whimper. "At first I was hurt, because you were my friend not theirs." Stiles said as he pushed another finger inside you making your hips stutter. "But now that doesn't matter, because you can be their freind all you like." Stiles littered kisses along you collerbone and neck. "As long as I can kiss and touch you like this." He grinned against your skin as you moaned, his pace quickening.
"Oh, god— please." You breathe, finding your hand in his hair. You kiss him, letting your lips bruise as he laps at your tongue. Stiles then kisses your cheeks. "You look so cute when you blush."
Your cheeks had heated due to the actions given by Stiles. "I thought you got annoyed when I b-blushed."
Stiles chuckles, curling his fingers inside you. You pant, sweat forming across your forehead. "That's only because you were blushing for Aiden. But now your blushing for me." Stiles smiles. “All for me."
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© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms
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fanfictilltheend · 6 months ago
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❤️‍🔥Violent Heart Part 2:  ♪Remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too ♫ (or the VERY DARK Stepdad!Mechanic!Covict!Joel x Afab!you one)❤️‍🔥
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Hi I apologize that a lot of these reference pics are just of white girls. I tried to find "aesthetic" images that go with the story but so many of them are just of white people and I want to call myself out for this because in the fic's only descriptors are that she has hair and is AFAB -- nothing about race. I also realize that all of the girls in this are skinny too and Y/N's body type is never specified. Sorry fam!! These images are just to get the creative juices flowing and don't truly depict anything from the fic!!
A/n: It’s here!!!!!! 18+ Only. This took me 7 freaking months so you mofos better like, reblog, and comment. This is both my most and least personal fic I’ve ever written and it is dark and relies heavily on plot (smut this time tho!!) READ ALL OF THE TAGS DO NOT COME FOR ME UNLESS YOU DID THIS FR FR. This ones for my dark joel fangirlies(guys and NBies) and the daddy issues fam ily ❤️‍🔥 (also not me naming my fic in part after hallelujah by leonard cohen but there is a reason!!!!!!!!!!)
Summary: Part 2 picks up with Y/N at age 20 and how her relationship with Joel has changed and gets steamier.  SMUT and feelings <3 Also check out this playlist of music that’s in the fic!!!!
Tags (PLEASE READ): Afab!you, pov change, Infidelity, threats, age gap, dressing Joel up (swear I wrote this before he wore that outfit to the SAG awards — the mr.Darcy-core one), racist comment (from Y/N’s douchey boyfriend), douchey boyfriend, confidence issues, feelings, voyeurism, masturbation (m and f), kissing, penis in vagina sex — unprotected (wear a condom), lightest hint of ass play, scar worship?? kinda??, daddy issues, daddy kink, using music lyrics to move the plot, multiple orgasms (m and f), religion and god discussions, stepcest (kinda bc technically he is divorced from her mother), tagging psuedo-incest just to be safe!!, use of y/n
Word Count: ~13k
PART 1
AO3 Link
Violent Heart Masterlist
Full Masterlist of all my work
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If you’re being honest, you’ve always had a little crush on Joel Miller. How could you not have? The first day you’d met him had been like some kind of fucked up yet extremely satisfying whirlwind of a daydream. He’d come in, broad and tall and strong, and saved you from your evil (though you do love him somewhere deep, deep down) older brother’s onslaught. Protected you like a knight in shining armor from his punching, beating fists. Treated and touched you so tenderly, so many miles different from how your own father did that you’d been hit with whatever the pleasant opposite of whiplash is. And the way he finally punished Aiden after years of his reign of terror, the violence of it, the justice of it. You didn’t have words for it then, but the way you looked into Joel’s eyes when he was doling out that righteous punishment became some kind of strange secret understanding between the two of you. Maybe it was the first sign of love? You aren’t sure.
As a kid, he’d given you what you like to think of as quiet butterflies. They were always there when he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you, beat the shit out of your father and brother for you, but they were faint enough that you could ignore them. It was a comforting, fluttering kind of love, a gradual understanding of your loyalty to one another. But then puberty hit and the insects became incessantly loud when you thought of, wrote to, or talked to him. They ate at your heart day after day while Joel was in prison – the longing, the missing. Aiden told you that you were obsessed with him. Your mother told you to forget him, that he would forget you. But somehow, he didn’t. You wonder if those bugs live in him too. You wonder if they are quiet or loud and if they gnaw .
You think that they are probably loud. You think this for a few reasons. The first is that you know for a fact, you can feel it in the lining of your soul, and from the evidence of his constant correspondence and care for you, that he is just as obsessed with you as you are with him. The second reason is the fact that you think but aren’t one hundred percent sure is that the last time you’d hugged him he’d gotten a little hard (you don’t want to think too much into that because he is only a man who had been deprived of touch for a long time – but still you wonder…). And the third is the way he looks at you like you are the universe like you are the last drop of nectar and he is the last butterfly left on Earth in a famine. 
That’s how he’s looking at you now in the passenger seat of his old, clunky pickup. You know that he wanted to drive, but you wanted to show him how well you could because he had never seen. Never had the chance to see how well you had fixed, maintained, and took care of his baby and of course he gave into you like he always does. He's smiling at you quietly, but his eyes contain multitudes. Right now mostly pride at your driving.
Joel is a bit different than how you remember sitting near him in the truck the last time you were together, him as a free man, you as a little girl. Somehow, even though you are obviously bigger now, he still seems massive and broad and stronger than ever. His biceps are huge – probably from all the time he had to work out in prison – and peeking out under his blue t-shirt that you brought for him, you think you see the outlines of some tattoos. You look a little closer. On his right arm is text in curvy black ink. You think it reads, “Sarah.” You smile softly at that. On his other arm is a strange orange shape that you have to squint at to understand. The edges of the object are jagged but they form a shape like a badge – and then you know what it is! It is the guitar pick you made for Joel as a child. The one that had pricked his finger and drawn blood and he stuck it in his wallet. You can’t articulate how honored you feel that Joel loved you enough to tattoo something you made for him on his body, permanently, forever. 
“ Well , the light only turned green damn near eons ago,” he complains about your driving, but you know he is just teasing.
There is hardly anything wrong you can ever do in Joel’s eyes. He grins at you a bit lopsidedly and you smile back. You also can’t help but notice the greying of his brown hair. It’s a bit longer than it used to be too and the length gives it a little bit less of a shaggy look. You think it suits him, makes him look a bit older and more distinguished than when he first came into your life twelve years ago. 
Objectively, you know it’s weird to think that your ex-stepdad who is a convicted felon is hot, but it’s just something you’ve always known and thought like that the sky is blue or that orange is your favorite color. You know it’s weird to think of someone who was? – is? – supposed to be a father figure to you that way, but it’s already second nature at this point. You’ve had a few boyfriends (luckily all of them had treated you right), but none of the feelings you’ve ever had for them have compared to the cosmic-sized love and affection you have for Joel and you’ve never known anything different. The years you spent longing, missing, loving, obsessing over, and aching for him in every way under the sun, can’t be healthy, you know this, but they have eclipsed practically every other relationship in your life. No one has ever made you feel as safe and protected and loved as Joel has. No one else has ever looked at you the way he does. No one else’s entire existence has revolved around you the way his has. The sheer devotion in his gaze is enough to make the butterflies inside you scream and beat their wings against your insides like hungry bats. 
And you especially know you shouldn’t have these feelings about another human being violent enough to be capable of taking a life – inebriated or not. You’re grown now and know the man he killed was a scum-of-the-Earth child predator, and secretly you’ve always wondered if there was more to the story than Joel told the police in the official court transcripts you’d read as an adult, maybe even something to do with you since you had been there that day in the repair shop when they met , but you haven’t pressed because you’re sure the whole thing is quite traumatic for Joel and if he ever wants to tell you, you know he will. And more importantly, you don’t really care. Drunken, violent idiot or not, you were already deeply invested and never intended on wavering in that. You’re not sure there’s anything Joel could do to get you to stop loving him and that both terrifies and excites you. 
“Okay, whatcha wanna eat?” you ask, reaching out to rub Joel’s shoulder gently. “Now that you’re free you can have whatever you want! On my mom’s credit card of course. Swear I won’t tell her.”
Joel grins.
“Deal,” he tells you. “I was thinking of a nice steak dinner.”
***
You pull into the fanciest restaurant you can find in the tri-state area and sit down to order a regal, all-American, full three-course steak dinner (though you’re both woefully underdressed – not that you care – though the host gives you a dirty look). All the while, you tell Joel about your major (psychology) and how you want to become a counselor for abused children.
“That’s sort of beautiful, sweetheart,” he tells you with a genuine smile that used to be so hard to coax from him, but now seems to float over to you so easily and gently like a kiss from something as soft as the wings of a butterfly. “Wanting to help defenseless children. You’re kinda like a guardian angel for them, ya know? Damn proud of ya! Also, these mashed potatoes are goddamn delectable!” he exclaims after taking an experimental bite. “Have I mentioned that prison food is shit?”
You smile bashfully and want to tell him that he is your guardian angel (you wonder if he thinks the same of you) and inspiration in a backward sort of way for wanting to help kids in the first place since he was so good at protecting you for the most part (though you obviously don’t believe violence is the correct answer in your line of future work). But kids need protectors. Somehow you know that deep down you forgive him for all of the violence he caused because you would forgive him for anything. And him being proud of you? You don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world than that! You burst with pride. Your real father never said that to you, but Joel doesn’t feel like your father now. He is something different entirely. Something that entirely belongs to you.
“And you’ll meet my boyfriend, Max, tomorrow,” you nod as Joel moves onto the steak and lets out a soft moan at how good it tastes. “He’s heard a lot about you.”
Joel’s face flattens.
“And who is this kid exactly?” he sneers a little, attacking the steak with his knife. 
You smile internally at the obvious jealousy he’s trying to hide from his voice.
“Hey, Max is a decent guy!” you insist in his defense. “He’s pre-law. Real smart. He’s gonna be an important person someday, I know it. You’ll get on.”
That last part is a bit of a lie since you’re not sure the two will actually like each other. 
Joel examines your face, looks deep into your eyes.
“All I know is, just because someone is important, don’t mean they’re good to you or for you for that matter.” 
You can’t help but think of your father, the most “important” man you know and how much of a degenerate he is compared to someone ostensibly average like Joel who didn’t even have a status symbol like a college degree and how perfect of a man you think he is, despite his obvious flaws. You blush a little, scrunching up your nose. 
“Just lookin’ out for you, sweetheart,” he continues, smiling at the way you do. “He ever fuck with you – he ever break your heart, you know just where to send him, alright?”
“Yeah, Joel,” you grin. “Don’t need you getting any more jail time though, alright?” “You may have made a valid point,” he concedes with a smirk. 
***
When you two enter your shitty, one-bedroom apartment it’s already dark outside. Joel actually grins when he notices his and your guitars have both been mounted on the wall. 
“We can play ‘em tomorrow,” you tell him excitedly. “If you want to, I mean…”
“Hell yeah, I do,” Joel smiles. “Wanna hear ya singing for me, honey. I missed that.”
You smile to yourself.
“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” you decide, getting back to business. 
“No way, babygirl. I ain’t taking your bed.”
“Joel, you’ve literally been on a prison mattress for eight fucking years! Can’t imagine that’s been very comfortable.”
“That’s exactly why I won’t mind the couch. That’ll feel like heaven to me. Don’t want you messin’ up your back, sweetheart.”
You open your mouth, but Joel beats you.
“And that’s that,” he insists. 
“Alright, alright,” you concede, knowing by the look on his face he’s not budging. If one thing, Joel has always been stubborn, but you like that about him. “D’you wanna watch a movie or something?”
“Actually, baby, if ya don’t mind, I’d like a quick shower. Been dreaming about taking a real, private one for ages.”
“Yeah, of course!” you nod, motioning toward your bathroom door. “Towels are under the sink.”
Joel makes his way inside and soon steam is billowing out the bottom of the door. 
You busy yourself with some homework, but just as you walk past the door to grab a glass of water, you think you hear Joel singing.
You listen more closely over the fall of the running water and make out him singing the chorus of an old ABBA song with a deeper, sadder tone to it,
♪ “ Slipping through my fingers all the time / I try to capture every minute / The feeling in it / Slipping through my fingers all the time / Do I really see what's in her mind? / Each time I think I'm close to knowing / She keeps on growing / Slipping through my fingers all the time…” ♫
You feel like such a sap, but you feel a tear forming in your eye at the way Joel must be thinking about his and your relationship and everything he missed in your life. You aren’t mad at him, but his absence hurt in a way you didn’t know you could feel. And you’ve never blamed him, really, but the lack of him for eight years of milestones really did kill a piece of you. You can’t help but imagine a butterfly at the bottom of your stomach with its wings pulled off. That’s how you felt all that time without Joel – like a butterfly without wings. A writhing worm of a human being, senseless and lost in a giant world full of forces you couldn’t control. 
You listen to Joel’s beautiful, deep voice until you hear him turn off the tap and you scurry away and act innocent. 
Joel emerges from the bathroom then with nothing but a white towel around his waist, steam from the shower floating lazily into the room behind him like precession. And oh, wow, is he ever a sight to behold. His hair is wet, dark brown flecked with grey, and starting to get curly from the moisture. You also can’t help but notice his broad chest, the expanse of it, the dark curls of hair, his bulking, muscular tattooed arms, his soft, hairy tummy, the V-shape of muscle that descends beneath the towel, his happy trail. You are overwhelmed by the soaking beauty of him. You’d seen Joel shirtless before, sure, but it had never felt like this . 
“Gon’ grab some of those clothes you bought for me and then maybe we could watch something?” Joel asks as you try so fucking hard not to stare at him.
“Sure!” you squeak, staring down at your notebook at the kitchen counter. 
You think you see a smirk from Joel, but you're not sure because your gaze is averted as he grabs some clothes to change into and disappears back into the bathroom.
When he reemerges, dressed in a wifebeater and shorts that accentuate his form, you two sit next to each other on your cushy sofa and surf the TV for something to watch. You feel Joel’s hairy knees against your jean-clad one and your heart flutters.
“Can’t believe I’m really here,” Joel says softly as you pass re-runs of Full House, a dog show. “Like I gotta fuckin’ pinch myself to know it’s not a dream.”
Suddenly you feel a large, weathered hand on your cheek.
“Missed you so much, babygirl,” he murmurs, looking into your eyes, massaging the line of your jaw ever so lightly, trying to hold your skittish gaze. “More than I even have words for.”
First, you avoid looking at him a bit bashfully, but then you stare up cautiously into those big brown eyes that feel like a familiar kind of home and you’re such a goner. You lean into his warmth, the warmth of his hand.
“Missed you too, Joel. So much,” you admit, never wanting this moment to end or him to let go of you. “More than anything.”
He leans forward a little and for a second you think…but then he’s leaning in and planting a heavy kiss on your forehead. A kiss that has weight to it – not those soft, weak ones that Max gives you haphazardly when he’s drunk or high – the only time he’s brave enough to be vulnerable with you. This kiss says something, means it so sincerely too. 
“Love you, honey,” he tells you. Then his face falls. “Sorry I…wasn’t quite there to say that to you enough in person.”
“It’s okay, Joel. I forgive you,” you insist. “I love you so much, dummy. More than you even know!”
But you truly do appreciate the sentiment. 
***
You settle on an old, black and white classic, Paper Moon, that’s playing on the TV Land channel.
Joel wraps a big arm around you and you snuggle close. You’re pretty sure there isn’t a better feeling in the world than being this close to him. Even after all these years he still smells like Joel; like home (and, if you’re being honest, a bit like your vanilla shampoo) .
You lean against him, your cheek pressing into one of his firm pecs. You begin to feel sleepy, drunk on the steady sound of his heartbeat, alive and beating against you and really here . 
You nod off.
***
At first, you don’t believe it, but you feel someone with strong, firm arms lifting you into the air, cradling your back and the insides of your knees in a bridal-style carry. The movement wakes you, but you don’t open your eyes because the safety and security you feel is too good to give up. Joel carries you to your bedroom and lays you down gently in your bed. You’re still in day clothes and shoes so Joel takes off your worn sneakers with a feather-light touch and places them at the foot of the bed – you can tell from the soft thumps it makes. He maneuvers you so tenderly under the covers and tucks you in with love and care. You wonder the last time someone did that for you and pull up a blank. If anyone ever did that for you it was probably Joel. Maybe your mom did when you were really young. Certainly your father nor Aiden ever did – your father hadn’t liked to touch you except out of anger – kind of like you had some kind of weird, contagious disease. Aiden’s hands had almost always hurt too, but not Joel’s – never his. 
He breaks you from your thoughts by pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your eyes are still closed so you aren’t sure, but you think he watches you for a second and lets out a long sigh. 
Then you hear your bedroom door close softly so as not to disturb you. You smile, you can’t help it, and drift back off into a peaceful sleep.
***
You wake up to a mumbling, grunting sort of sound. You look over at your clock and read 3:42 a.m. You sit up. You can kind of hear some muffled noises coming from outside your room. At first, you feel a little concerned – like maybe Joel is in pain or something as he is the only one who could be making the noises. The walls in your apartment are paper-thin. Like you could hear him sneeze clear as day if he were to because sound travels through the shitty walls so easily. You should have told him that. But what the fuck is he doing up at 3 a.m.? 
You creep (and you mean creep) silently to the door of your bedroom and open it the tiniest crack. The way your apartment is laid out, the back of the sofa is the first thing you see and the back of Joel’s head about six feet away. He doesn’t sound in pain the way he’s groaning and then you understand exactly what he’s doing. Of course the man is jerking off! After being in prison, stuck around people for so long of course he wanted a good, private wank. He isn’t looking at anything from what you can tell, no magazines or anything. Must be using his imagination. You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he’s gotten good at that over the years.
You should turn around, slink back into bed, and cover your ears with a pillow so the man can have some privacy. But, fuck, the way he’s grunting. His voice is so fucking deep and sexy and then he lets out a soft, vulnerable moan and you feel heat envelope your whole body. You think you hear a soft fuck roll off his tongue and your heart almost beats right out of your chest. You can hear the lewd slapping of his fist on skin getting louder and more intense. Then you hear a soft take it, fuck. And Jesus, you are so fucking wet between your thighs. You ought to be ashamed. Instead, you reach down your hand feverishly beneath the band of your jeans and soaking underwear instinctively to stroke yourself ever so slightly. You sigh in relief, but you are fucking gushing, your fingers covered in your slick. You can’t see anything besides the back of Joel’s head, technically, so this couldn’t be that wrong, could it? He lets out a soft groan, you can tell he’s holding back so as not to be heard, but the desperation in the pathetic little noises this hulking man is making is turning on every switch inside you. Oh how you want to go over there and take him in your mouth, to taste him. God you are so fucked up! You’re still touching yourself gently, not really fully going at it yet, considering the possibilities that could follow if you went over there. But before you can decide to do anything, Joel positively whines, moans, and grunts fuck, unh, and you think but aren’t sure, babygirl, and finishes.
You stop dead still in what you’re doing. Did he really say “babygirl” or was that just your horny-ass imagination playing tricks on you? You’ve never heard Joel call anyone babygirl except you. Was he really thinking of you? On the one hand, if true, mega fucked up. On the other, wow, incredibly hot. You think about going over there and asking him to finish you off or something as crazy as in all those dumb romance novels you used to read in middle school, but just as quickly as the idea comes to you, you hear another noise: loud snoring. Joel is asleep.
Typical.
You snort to yourself. That was so quintessentially Joel. You don’t want to disturb him now. The moment has passed. And only then is when you remember you have a fucking boyfriend. 
That doesn’t stop you from closing your door softly, crawling back into bed, and reaching your hand down beneath your panties to touch yourself. You stroke your clit, imagining it is Joel’s rough hand rubbing against you. Holy fuck. You haven’t been this wet since you used to touch yourself thinking about him in the past. It’s like he can reach every part of you, every layer in a way that no one else can. You know the whole thing is so fundamentally fucked up, but you can resist sinking into your favorite fantasy. The smell, the touch, the feel of him. You imagine the noises he was making so beautifully on the couch, feel heat coil through your entire body, and immediately cum hard without even sticking a finger inside yourself. 
The pleasure you feel is so unparalleled and real you have to cover your hand with your mouth not to scream out your powerful orgasm. 
Sweat drenches your whole body as you come down. 
God, you are so fucked.
***
The next morning you wake up to the wafting smell of someone cooking eggs. You emerge from your room a little sheepishly from last night’s events to find Joel behind the kitchen counter making eggs and toast. 
“Mornin’, babygirl,” he grins, his eyes shining like he’s excited about something.
And then you realize: that something is you.
You grin back.
“Good morning, Joel,” you beam at him.
You were so afraid things would feel awkward after what you heard last night, but nothing ever feels awkward with Joel. In some ways, he’s still just your average dorky, friendly old ex-stepdad, convicted felon. In other ways, everything about him sets your heart on fire, but it would be stupid to ruin what you have with him because you think it’s remotely possible he might be interested back. You know this is dramatic, but if he flat-out rejected you, you think you might die. Truly. Like those butterflies inside you would beat their wings so hard they’d burst your heart.
“‘Membered you liked ‘em poached,” he nods, breaking you from your thoughts. 
He scoops two poached eggs onto one of your plates and grabs a piece of toast from the toaster which he smears with butter like how you used to eat toast as a kid. You can’t believe he remembered.
“Thanks so much,” you tell him.
He grabs a few eggs and toast for himself and sits beside you at the counter. 
“Nice to be able to cook me ‘n you some real food,” he remarks. “If I eat one more cup o’ noodles in my lifetime I swear to God Almighty…” he trais off.
He’s looking at you like you put the goddamned sun in the sky. Your heart melts as you stare at his features, the faint curls in his hair. Oh, how you want to reach out and touch him. But that just isn’t how you operate. You won’t ruin what you already have.
The butterflies in your chest howl. 
***
` You lay out the day’s schedule to Joel. You have plenty of time to hang about (you see him eyeing the guitars), and then you need to go shopping for some actual clothes for Joel since the things you brought for him don’t constitute a proper wardrobe. Then you will go out to dinner and meet Max. 
Joel grunts a nod at that last part. He doesn’t seem too thrilled.
“Wanna show me what you’ve been playing?” he asks hopefully as he gets up to put both of your plates in the sink,
“‘Course!” you nod enthusiastically. “Max says I need to work on my fingerpicking so I can’t promise it’ll be all that good.”
Joel rolls his eyes.
“Show me what you’ve got.”
***
You sit down on the couch right next to Joel, each of you holding your respective guitars in hand, across your laps. 
Joel looks ecstatic to have his guitar back in his hands. He fiddles with the tuning and finger-picks a faint melody.
“Haven’t played one since the prison band. But then some dumb motherfucker clobbered another sorry son of a bitch to death with a saxophone so that ended our music privileges,” Joel explains. 
“Jeez,” you reply.
Joel is sitting so close you can feel his body heat. You just want to hear him sing, but he insists on hearing you.
“Joel,” you try as innocently as possible. “D’you remember how to do an A-flat? I forget and I need it for my song.”
“Sure, baby. Lemme help ya. Now put one finger on this bit of the 4th fret here,” he begins, snaking a big arm around your shoulders so he can maneuver your fingers to the correct position. 
His touch is electric. He feels so good and warm. You feel the intense urge to climb into his lap and embrace and stay there forever. His big caloused hand full of scars places your fingers correctly for the chord. The same hand that must have jerked himself to completion last night…You can’t help but wonder how much cum there was…The truth is, you know how to make an A-flat. You just wanted to feel him.
He backs away and you whine internally at the loss.
“There we go,” he says soothingly, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “That one can be tricky. Now where is my performance?”
Your nerves are squirming around inside you but you begin to play and sing to the best of your ability. 
You look into Joel’s eyes.
♪“ You've got a heart on fire / It's bursting with desire / You've got a heart filled with passion /  Will you let it burn for hate or compassion?” ♫ you sing. 
Joel watches you intently, sitting up straighter. 
♪ “What's the point with a love / That makes you hate and kill for? ♪
You sing as best and as seriously as you can. You look up and think you maybe see a tear in Joel’s eye.
When you finish, it’s clear Joel is finding it hard to select the right words to convey what he’s feeling. 
“I–” he tries. “That was…well, let me just show you how I can answer that if anyone ever could to a performance as beautiful as that.”
You blush. 
He begins to finger-pick a familiar tune, Instantly, you are transported back to eight years old in the back of Joel’s old pickup truck, listening to one of his many cassette tapes. It’s “I’ll Never Find Another You” by The Seekers. The original version of the song is pretty happy and upbeat, but the way Joel sings it slowly in his deep and weathered voice makes you feel sad and achy inside. The emotion behind his voice is palpable.
♪ “But if I should lose your love, dear / I don't know what I'd do / For I know I'll never find another you / Another you / Another you…” ♫ he trails off.
It’s your turn to tear up a little. It’s crazy to know he means every word he’s singing too. He sings like every word is his last breath. When he finishes you are crying a little.
“You oughta record an album,” you sniffle, leaning into his shoulder, throwing him a side hug.
“Wanted to be a singer,” he replies with a small grin, leaning his head against yours. “Back when I was young.” 
You sit back up straight.
“You did? I never knew that.”
“Don’t tell nobody really,” Joel replies, looking a bit sad you left his immediate proximity. “Just a stupid dream ‘n all that crap.”
“‘S not stupid,” you tell him. “You really have a beautiful voice, Joel. It’s like if I could take it, hold on to it, and keep it forever in my chest pocket next to my heart, I would.”
“That’s where I keep you, baby,” he tells you honestly.
He reaches up a big hand to yours and guides your own to place it right on his heart over his plaid shirt. You can feel it beating steadily below your palm to the rhythm of something as delicate and ferocious as the beating of butterfly wings.
“Right here.”
***
You take Joel shopping. At his insistence it is nothing fancy, just the local department store. That doesn’t stop you from dressing Joel up in ridiculous outfits of your choosing. You make him try on a Hawaiian shirt, some golf polos like your dad liked to wear, a pinstripe suit and he lets you because saying no to you has never been in his vocabulary. He acts grumpy on the outside, but you can tell he is amused. You know in the end, you’ll just end up buying every flannel shirt and jeans combo they have in the store, but it’s just fun anyway. You watch the fabric hug his torso, his tummy, the slight bulge at his waist. At one point he comes out shirtless and you try very hard not to swoon as you stare at the hair lining his chest and his adorable little tummy that you for some reason have the urge to bite. The band of his Hanes boxers sticks up past his jeans and he looks so good. He even lets out a genuine smile. The middle-aged sales attendant who is helping you even takes a good look at him which makes the butterflies inside you swarm possessively. 
Finally, you make him try on a proper white-collared button-down shirt and black dress pants with matching black shoes and he looks so good you’re actually at a loss for words when he asks you what you think. They hug the curves and lines and planes of his body so nicely. All you can do is ask him to put on a black tie to match and he does at your behest following some customary griping that he would never wear such a monkey suit in the first place. The effect that a fully dressed-up Joel has on you is not one to be reckoned with. He might as well be wearing the men’s version of lingerie for how it makes you throb and ache between your legs. He looks like a force of nature, commanding and tall. It makes you weak. All you say is,
“Looking good, old-timer.”
He snorts.
When you finally ditch all the fun clothes and grab the essentials, Joel offers to go pick up the car while you pay. He tries to give you his eight-year-old credit card, but you insist on treating him on the condition he buys the “monkey suit.” After a bit of prodding, he gives in and you go to the sales attendant to pay at the counter. 
“Your dad is really cute,” the sales attendant giggles to you as she rings up the pile of clothes. 
Your cheeks go a bit red. You don’t really care enough to correct her.
“He’s my guy,” is all you say absentmindedly as you fish out your wallet from your purse.
The sales attendant hands you the receipt and on it, you see a scrawled phone number.
“For If he’s single,” she explains. “I’m Barb from sales.”
You look her over. She’s close to Joel’s age and conventionally pretty with long brown hair. The exact kind of woman Joel should be dating should he choose to get back in the game. Your stomach twists and the butterflies howl inside you.
You take the receipt, thank her, and join Joel back in the car (who is more than happy to be driving this time). 
“What took so long?” he asks casually. “You two writing a novel in there?”
You think seriously about what you should do. You consider letting the bugs have their way and tearing the receipt with Barb’s number on it to shreds. But you want good things for Joel. The chance of you two ever being together the way you wish is so far-fetched that you know you shouldn’t even be thinking it. A literal pipe dream. He was your stepdad for christsakes. He literally fucked your mother! (Gross!). Barb is exactly the kind of woman Joel should be going after if he’s up to dating right now. You hand him the receipt begrudgingly. 
“Sales Lady likes you,” you sat flatly. “Name is Barb.”
“Oh,” he says softly like he’s a bit flattered. 
He looks back at her through the glass door of the store and she waves at him. He waves back politely. You feel your stomach twisting into knots. 
“You think…you think you’re gonna call her?” you finally ask as casually as humanly possible, dreading the answer. 
Joel looks over at you, his gaze sweeping over you. Then looks back at Barb through the window. He looks her up and down.
“Nah,” he says with a smirk, looking back at you. “She ain’t my type. Only need one girl in my life right now anyways,” he winks.
Was that Joel flirting? With you?
Regardless, you smile back and then sigh in relief and grin to yourself as you two drive away. 
Much to your satisfaction, Joel crumples up the receipt and throws it out the window for good measure. 
***
You get ready for dinner, to go to a nice Mexican-Japanese fusion restaurant that Max picked out. You wear a red dress that accentuates your figure and matching heels and to your shock, Joel reemerges from the bathroom in the white button-down shirt and black dress pants you picked out for him (you had been sure flannel would be part of his ensemble). God, he looks good. A part of you wants to ditch Max and just stay here with Joel forever. He looks you over, his dark eyes sweeping over your frame. You think there is a tinge of possessiveness in his voice when he says,
“ Christ, you look beautiful, babygirl.”
***
You arrive before Max and sit down at the fancy white table-cloth-covered table next to Joel, a booth facing you. Max finally makes an appearance a half hour late and sits down across from you, sweeping his hair out of his face, sliding into the booth. Joel is frowning and the butterflies beat their wings inside you nervously.
“Sorry I’m late,” Max announces, puffing out his chest a little and smoothing out his collared shirt as he looks down at his watch and then over at Joel. “Hey, baby,” he says to you. Then, “And, uh, nice to meet you. Joe, was it? Heard a lot about you.”
“Joel,” Joel replies flatly, eyeing Max.
Max is a good-looking guy, everyone says so, but he looks more like a little boy than you’ve ever thought as he squirms uneasily in his seat under Joel’s unrelenting gaze and launches into a tirade about his frat’s inter-mural lacrosse team practice and how his team should have totally won the scrimmage and that’s why he’s late. And of course, he was the one to score the most goals.
“And the taxi cab driver was a nightmare. Only spoke Spanish. It’s like, if you come to this country speak fucking English, am I right?”
You notice Joel’s jaw tighten and his fingers clench. 
“Max, that’s so rude!” you tell him, frowning. “We’re at a fucking Mexican restaurant!”
“Anyway,” Max continues, rolling his eyes at the interruption like he barely even heard you, smirking. “Where’d you go to school? What do you do for work, Joel?  Besides making license plates, I mean. Kidding!” he insists as you stare daggers at him. 
Joel leans forward ever so slightly but you slip your leg over his to hold him back and he calms down a fraction. It’s like when you touch him, everything tense in him melts away. 
Joel sits up straighter in his chair and looks at you, stretching his arm across the back of your seat protectively like it’s a casual thing and not an unconscious sign of possessiveness.
“I’m a mechanic,” he grunts unceremoniously to Max. “I mean, I was anyways…Didn’t go to school.”
Max frowns ever so slightly. 
“You didn’t go to college? You must’ve gone to trade school at least?”
“Nope. Picked up what I know over the years. Not everyone gets a free ride from their parents,” Joel smirks.
“Free ride?” Max snaps. “I’ll have you know I spend every summer interning at a law firm!”
“Yeah, your dad’s,” you can’t help but snicker.
Max’s cheeks turn a bit pink.
“At least I’m not a psych major,” he shoots back. “I mean, no offense, babe!”
“What’s wrong with psychology?” Joel snarls, his eyes darkening. “You ought to be proud to have such a thoughtful and intelligent girl like Y/N studying such a topic.”
It’s your turn for your cheeks to go pink. 
“Joel–”
“Who said I wasn’t?” Max sneers. 
That makes you feel a bit better. 
“I’m just saying, she could have inherited the second-best law firm in the tri-state area from her pops if she was pre-law like me,” he smirks.
Your smile fades, used to hearing this kind of shit from him. He knows you and your father don’t get along at all, but not the full extent of it. He also knows you don’t have an interest in pre-law. But you swallow down how you really feel.
“It’s fine, Joel,” you tell him, placing a hand down on his thigh.
It’s not that you enjoy the way Max has been talking to you, but you are so used to it from the men in your life that it feels like the common denominator must be you. And sometimes it feels like maybe they have some kind of point. And fighting back only makes things worse. You’ve learned that over the years the hard way.
“It’s not fine!” he snaps like he’s trying to get you to see sense, looking deeply insulted on your behalf. Your heart thunders in your chest. “This boy has never worked an honest day in his life and he’s telling you what you ought to be doing? Bet his hands are soft as a baby’s ass. He doesn’t know shit about you, babygirl.”
You may not know the hardship of labor that Joel has taken on in his life, but your hands are not smooth. They are full of scars. And Joel is right. Max’s are soft like silk. You look down at the most prominent, ugly scar on your middle finger. You don’t even know which man in your life gave it to you. But you do know it means something. Shows you survived something. Survived your stupid father too, not that Max seems to care.
But Max never loses. 
“Whatever,” he smirks dismissively. “Sorry I’m not some, like, common blue-collar worker. But I guess I should be taking advice from someone who became a fucking convicted felon ‘cause they drank too much one night,” he shrugs with a terrible sneer.  
You know it’s over then.
But Joel surprises you. Doesn’t immediately strangle Max like you thought he might. Simply stands up tall and silent over Max’s frame which has suddenly begun to shake ever so slightly in obvious fear, his blue eyes widening. Joel’s fists are clenched tightly at his sides. 
“Wouldn’t mind them sendin’ me right back in, ” Joel growls low. “Drunk or not.”
You shiver and Max positively cowers. 
“Got something to say? Don’t wanna take it outside?” Joel leers, smirking ever so slightly at the trembling boy before him. “I’d even let a little boy like you take the first swing.”
“Your stepdad’s a freak, Y/N,” Max stammers, not taking his eyes off of Joel. 
“Joel, it’s fine, okay?” you growl, not wanting him to actually hurt your boyfriend. Let alone in public! “Shouldn’t talk about Joel like that though, Max! Jesus!”
“Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” Max tries, eyeing back and forth between you and Joel. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t get what you see in him with a real Dad like yours! Your dad has so much to give you!”
Look out for you? So much to give you? What could he possibly give besides a stupid law firm and two black eyes? 
Max looks a bit desperate. Him apologizing for anything is actually a new concept for you. Your heart twitches ever so slightly. He must actually like you a lot. But Joel would never do anything to hurt you if it was in his power. At least not intentionally, unlike your real father. 
“That’s it. I’m leaving,” Joel snarls moodily, turning around. “Don’t want to do things I might regret to Mr.Future-Corporate-Lawyer over here. Have fun with him .”
Joel looks deeply hurt. Like you are choosing Max over him or something. That’s never what this has been about, has it? Doesn’t Joel know you’d do anything for him? That the hurt on his face hurts you more than anything you’ve ever felt. Ever.
“Joel, wait!” you decide and disappear after him, leaving Max behind at the table.
“Babe, what the fuck!?” Max yells, but you don’t care. “Come back here!”
***
You ride back in silence, Joel’s hands turning white against his grip on the steering wheel. 
When you break through to the front door of your apartment, Joel finally snaps, the anger on his face directed at something that feels like you for the first time in your life.
“You really love that little son of a bitch, don’t you?” he sneers, uncharacteristically harshly towards you. 
“So what if I did?” you shoot back, a little shocked. “It’s none of your business, Joel. What the fuck?”
“It is so my business,” he snaps back. “That kid is no good for you, Y/N. He doesn’t understand you. You deserve someone much better than that who will actually go to the ends of the earth for you. He wouldn’t do anything for you.”
There is a desperation and vulnerability in Joel’s words and tone that you’re not sure you’ve heard before. He sounds like he had been waiting the whole car ride to say this, maybe even his whole life. You aren’t sure.
“Max does give a shit about me,” you try to convince yourself, getting angrier. “I mean at least he was there for me while you were gone.”
Joel flinches.
“How do you know what’s so good for me and what’s not when you dipped out of my life for eight years?” you continue harshly. “Because why? It wasn’t because you were drunk, was it? It was because you couldn’t control your anger. You never could.”
He stares at you.
“I controlled it for you,” Joel says so quietly you almost miss it. “ You are the only reason I did any of it.”
“What?” you stammer, not sure you want to hear more. “W-what do you mean, Joel? Any of what?”
A million thoughts begin to run through your mind, but you push them aside. Theories about the case and your ideas of Joel’s true nature all threaten to drown you but you push them away.
“Do you want to know why I really killed that sick son of a bitch?” Joel asks dangerously after a long moment of silence. You stare at him, your body frozen. He looks down at his hands, flexing them like he can still feel them punching or around that disgusting man’s throat. “Why I killed him all those years ago? It was no accident, I’ll give you that. Manslaughter, my ass. I killed that scum of the Earth because he threatened you . To do terrible things to you with those disgusting hands of his. So I broke each one, but it wasn’t enough. I killed him because I didn’t want you to get hurt and because I didn’t want you to live in fear of him. I was tired, Y/N. Tired of being afraid for you in a world that doesn’t let you do shit except fight back. I loved you so much, Y/N, it hurt me. It scared me, but I couldn’t let him hurt you. I’d die before I let anyone hurt you again, not him, not your father, not Max, not anyone. You have to understand. I love –” 
And then it’s all over. You’re not sure who moves first, but you think it might be you. The butterflies are rustling and thundering and screeching inside you and you kiss him. And Joel kisses back, devouring your mouth in his. You grab the back of his graying brown hair and pull him as close to you as you think is humanly possible. He cradles the back of your head so gently you almost lose your breath. And you are kissing and kissing and kissing and kissing. There is nothing else in the universe except this kiss. You have never felt anything like this in your life. It is like every butterfly inside you has gone silent. It is like the world has stopped just for you and something new is forming inside you.
Joel killed that vile man for you. To keep you safe. Like he always said or showed that he would. He gave his life away for you. He did the unspeakable for you.
He bites down on your bottom lip and all your brain can manage to coherently think is: more, harder .
But then Joel is breaking away from you slowly.
NO! your heart cries out, the delicious pleasure and pain draining away from you. The butterflies swarm dangerously inside your chest, worse with every inch he travels from your lips.
“Joel,” you whine. “What? You…you don’t want–”
“Don’t even say that, Y/N,” he growls dangerously. “Of course I want you. How could I not? I have spent my entire life wanting you in some capacity, baby, but I ain’t no good for you either, alright? I…” he says slowly like it takes every inch of his body to agree to say this. “I am not a good man, Y/N. I never have been. I’ve done wrong in every chapter of my life. You deserve someone much better. I don’t want to hurt you. Physically or mentally. Our history… The damage I’ve done…” he trails off.
“You don’t understand,” you swallow, tears forming in your eyes. “You have already loved and hurt me more than any human being on planet Earth. And yet somehow there is nothing you could do that would keep me away from you, don’t you get that? The Joel Miller I love is not a good man and I don’t care. I want all of you. All of the pretty and crooked pieces you try to hide away from me. You killed a man with your bare hands, arguably one of the worst things a human can do, and I don’t care. I still want you, Joel. Maybe even more because of it. No one has ever loved me the way you do and that is the love I want and it terrifies me.”
A single tear falls down Joel’s right cheek. You reach up to wipe it away, but Joel grabs your hand on the way reflexively, so you help him wipe his own tears away. 
“I love you,” you whisper.
“I would move the Earth for you,” Joel whispers back.
“I know,” you nod. “I’ve always known. I–”
But he is kissing you again before you can say another word, like a man starved. You hold onto his cheeks, your fingers caressing his stubbly beard. 
“ Joel,” you whine when you break for air.
“I wanted this so badly,” he says softly, grinning a lopsided grin. “Can’t believe this is real.”
“Me too,” you giggle.
You have to lean up a bit, but you press your forehead to his gently.
“Oh, baby,” Joel smirks. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive, ya know that? You like
it when I go a little rough, honey?” he smirks down at you in satisfaction, reading your mind.
You have to stop yourself from getting lost in the warm pools of his brown eyes, your panties soaked.
He reaches an affectionate hand down to rub your side softly.
“This okay, babygirl?” he coos, massaging his hand down your torso.
“I’d let you do anything to me, don’t you know?” you snicker. “Pain or pleasure, it’s all the same to me. I like all of that. I just want you so bad.”
“Think a safe word is in order,” Joel grins, leaning down to kiss your neck. “How about ‘butterflies?’” you suggest. 
“Sounds good to me, baby,” he grins, looking genuinely happy for the first time in hours. 
He leans down and places a calloused hand around your throat, not squeezing (yet – you hope) and plants soft kisses and bites down your expanse of skin. 
“All mine,” he mutters into your skin. “My beautiful babygirl.”
You feel his erection pressing against you through his black dress pants which makes you moan softly.
His hand trails over your crotch and he starts rubbing over the tight fabric of your red dress.
“That okay?”
“Yes,” you whine. “Want more, Daddy.”
Oh shit. You don’t mean to say it like that! You know it is about ten levels of fucked up to call Joel that, but how is it your fault that in every fantasy that’s how you think of him? You figure you’re probably past the point of weird and every other standard of decency, but you’re still afraid.
“Sorry…” you mumble. “I–”
“No, no, baby,” Joel says quickly. “It’s alright, you can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind, sweetheart.”
“You think it’s weird,” you mumble again, further stupid tears forming in your eyes.
He snickers. 
“Baby, I think we’re beyond weird at this point. Let me show you how turned on it makes me.”
Joel takes your hand and places it on his crotch. He takes your left hand, the one with the scar and you cringe a little, but he is rock-hard.
That’s good because you’re positively drenched.
“You’re okay, sweetheart. Daddy likes that more than you know, alright?”
You take your hand back, smiling, but you cover your scarred finger, shocked he will allow this fantasy for you.
“Whatcha hidin’ from me, baby?” he asks, noticing the positioning of your hands.
“I hate that scar on my finger. ‘S so ugly,” you admit.
Joel looks flabbergasted. 
“That’s the last damn thing I think of when I look at you. Ugly? Who in the fuck told you that?”
“How it got there is ugly. It’s marred skin, looks gross,” you mumble.
Joel moves to take out his cock, and when you nod he unzips and unbuttons his dress pants, pulling out his length. You have fantasized about his cock for god knows how long so you are more than excited to see it. He reaches to place your left hand with the scarred fingers around the length of his dick, which is thick, but longer than you expected. The leaking head is almost purple and your mouth begins to water as you stroke him gently.
“It’s part of you,” Joel tells you, his eyes connecting with yours. “I love it. It shows you survived. Gonna jerk off to it, Daddy loves it so much. And when I’m done you’re gonna love it too. Swear I’ve got so many over the years I can barely even count ‘em. Even got a few on my middle finger. Maybe even one from a certain guitar pick you made me. Nothing like that could ever make me stop wanting you, ya know that, right?”
You smile and take your time stroking him, wanting to show him how much you love and care for him, scars and all.
He grunts softly, closing his eyes, but then shoos your hand away with a feverish kind of want. 
“Yeah, touch yourself now, baby. Daddy wants to see how wet you are for him. With that scarred finger. C’mon, now. ‘S gonna make you feel so good.”
You do as you’re told and reach down underneath your dress and begin to touch yourself, especially with your middle finger. You stroke your clit and then your dripping wet slit. You moan softly as Joel’s eyes rake over you, taking in every sigh and groan you emit. The butterflies are forming something big inside you, which presses against the inside of your tummy and ribcage.
“Daddy,” you whine.
“Enough, little one,” Joel whispers. 
He takes out your hand and begins to suck the slick off of each of your fingers, groaning deeply, making intense eye contact the whole time.
“Fuck, angel,” he moans, having a tough time keeping himself together, you can tell. “Taste and smell better than like how I pictured. Like you were fuckin’ made for me, I swear.”
He reaches a hand of his own down to stroke himself and his moans become more desperate. Finally, he sucks on your middle finger covered in your slick and groans so deeply you feel like you might cum untouched. He stares into your eyes. 
“ Mine, ” he growls possessively. “Oh, shit! Gonna–”
Then he takes your left hand and leads it to meet his throbbing cock. You stroke him, harder this time, fisting his thick length, moaning softly and that does it for him.
Joel cums all over your hand, oozing white globs of cum over your fingers, once, twice, three times. 
“Fuuuuuck, babygirl,” he groans. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! Couldn’t help it. Yeah, suck it off, baby. That’s it,” he commands, and you do, licking up all of his cum, even the part that got on your middle finger. 
When Joel comes down he still looks half-crazed with desire.
“Sorry about the, uh, early release. It’s been a while since anyone touched me,” he babbles in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed pink. “But I don’t wanna hear shit about your gorgeous hands ever again, you hear me, babygirl?”
“Yes, Daddy,” you nod, snickering. 
He looks like that one word has set his entire universe back in order again. You honestly don’t care at how fast Joel came. You love how much it shows he wants you. And his heady taste is making you weak. You could taste him for days and days and never get tired, you’re sure.
“Can still get you off though, don’t worry. Shoulda let you cum first, but I couldn’t help it with the things you do to me. Goddamn. Can Daddy eat your pussy, baby?”
You grin, but then your face falls. 
“Didn’t shave,” you admit, feeling dirty. 
Max hates your hair down there.
Joel looks at you in confusion.
He laughs, his face scrunching up.
“Oh, sweetheart. You think I care about that? Only little boys give a shit about things like that. Not men.”
You shiver.
“Really?”
“Of course I don’t care. Didn’t ya hear what I just said? C’mon now. You can lie down on the couch.”
You follow instructions, pulling your dress over your head to reveal white lace panties and no bra. 
You move to take the panties off, but Joel stops you, staring at the lines and curves of your body. 
“Jesus, fuck,” he growls, taking you in.
You think you see his cock twitch ever so slightly. He palms his softening length instinctively.
“Beautiful,” he snarls, pushing you back on the sofa. 
You happily fall backward. 
He lies on top of you, his white button-down shirt pressing against your naked body tantalizingly. 
He bites your lips roughly and you groan against him.
“Daddy’s mouth,” he commands against you.
“Yeah, duh, Daddy,” you snicker.
As if he even needs to say it! 
He kisses down your neck expertly and you begin to shiver and whine, your pussy aching with need and neglect.
He stops at your breasts, sucking and biting each one.
“Daddy’s tits,” he declares, snaking a finger over the lace panties that protect your clit. “Of course,” you respond, moaning softly, grinding needily against him.
He continues lower, licking down your breasts and over your tummy which he plants with kisses that tickle and then one hard bite on your hip that leaves behind teeth marks.
“Daddy’s body,” he impresses upon you.
“Yes, Daddy. Only yours.”
“No more of that little shithead, Max,” he snarls, an inch above your clit.
“No more Max,” you repeat as he presses kisses down your pussy, still covered by soaked white lace panties. 
“Only Daddy.”
“Only you.”
“Good girl,” he growls.
He finally removes your panties and begins to eat and suck your clit and pussy so hard and enthusiastically, swirling his tongue around your bundles of nerves that you grow exponentially closer by the second.
“Joel,” you whine. “Oh my God.”
It doesn’t take long. The second his calloused hand is pressing a finger and then two inside of you it’s over. You were so needy for him that you could have even cum from just his mouth alone, but his hands are what send you over the edge. And something different happens as orgasm crashes down upon you. The butterflies all join together and transform into something bigger and softer, caressing your insides, cooing. It feels like a breathing white dove is spreading its wings inside you, the tips of its feathers brushing against your rib cage. And you cum harder than you ever have in your life. 
Pleasure engulfs you in currents, facilitated by the gentle flapping from deep
inside your body.
“ Joel,” you moan. “Oh my God. Daddy, pleaseee–”
“Please what, baby? Make my princess cum again? I would eat that pretty little clit and
pussy every day for the rest of my life if I could, fuck. God, so perfect and you’re so fuckin’ tight. Look how fucking hard you make me, angel.”
He takes one of your hands and places it on his half-hardening cock. Not going to lie, you are partially shocked at his recovery, but another part of you seems to know that if there was anyone in the universe that could do that to him it had to be you. 
“Never got hard again from anyone I’ve ever fucked before…” he trails off dreamily like he can read your thoughts. “You’re so gorgeous, babygirl.”
“Not so bad yourself, handsome,” you tell him lazily, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth as you pull him closer to you. 
The heat from his body keeps you so warm and tender and for a moment you lie on the couch, Joel’s still-clothed body pressed to yours.
“Can you fuck me, Joel?” you ask, squirming against him needily.
“You can’t say that shit to me, baby,” Joel groans, his cock getting harder. “Not quite ready yet.”
“Lemme help you out,” you offer, pouting. 
You reach down and stroke his half-hard length and then bend over and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock.
Joel swears, staring down at you with so much adoration it pours off his face. No man has ever looked at you like that before. You’re certain. Perhaps no man ever will again? Not like that.
“Shit, baby,” Joel babbles stupidly, his eyes threatening to swallow you up in that beautiful shade of umber. “Never gonna forget this moment,” he grunts as you begin to suck his cock properly, feeling it slowly get hard enough to throb between your lips with each thrust of your head and gluck of your throat. 
You stare up at him, your eyes wide and wanting and Joel lets out a soft, vulnerable moan as you begin to really suck him and take him down the walls of your throat.
“ Unh , babygirl, fuck,” he whines and you have never quite heard Joel so desperate before. “Gotta pull out or I’m gonna cum. Holy fuck.” 
It sounds just like it did the night you accidentally spied on him jerking off. 
“You’ve been thinking about me a lot, huh, Daddy?” you ask, releasing Joel from your mouth like he wanted, though his hips buck forward ever so slightly with desire, the tip of his cock just barely scraping against your mouth. He grunts.
“Maybe so,” he replies, looking a little guilty. “Don’t know how not to these days.”
“Heard you on the couch last night,” you whine yourself. “Had to touch myself ‘cuz of it, Daddy. I’m sorry.”
Joel reaches out a hand to cup your crotch and rub against your slick pussy.
“That’s so fuckin’ naughty, baby,” he groans. “Look how wet that made you. All for me.”
You steal a glance at his cock and find that the tip is weeping too. And he is so fucking big compared to the size of your hand. Fuck!
“You were thinking about me, weren’t you?” you whisper.
“All about you, baby,” Joel nods in agreement, his hips twitching ever so slightly. “‘Bout touching you just like this.”
He slinks two big fingers inside you and you moan deliciously, the feathery wings of the newly-formed dove fluttering against your insides. 
“Gotta stretch you a bit more,” he grunts into your throat, pushing in a third finger. “Daddy’s so big and you’re so tight, angel. Don’t wanna hurt ya. Not too bad at least. Not yet…That’s it, pretty girl, fuck,” he grins when you slide back on his thumb in pleasure which had traveled to the rim of your asshole “Good girl, so good for Daddy. So naughty too. Don’t think Daddy won’t punish you.”
“Want you to hurt me, Daddy,” you moan. “When you fuck me. Please fuck me hard. I want all of you – pain and pleasure. One hundred percent Joel. Joel, please, I need–” 
And Joel does stop for a moment.
“Never hurt you in a way you didn’t beg for,” he tells you seriously. “You know that right, baby?”
You stop your rutting against him and look into his eyes.
“Are you kidding? You would protect me with your dying breath. I know that, Joel. Never been afraid of you since I’ve really known you. Not once. I mean: fuck; you gave up your whole life for me. To keep me safe, for fuckssake. In every word you say and don’t say to me I can feel how much you love me.”
 “I do love you so much, babygirl,” he whispers, nuzzling your forehead. “If I had to, I’d do all of it all over again if it meant I’d get you. I’ve made mistakes, big ones, but protecting you, loving you was never one of them.” 
Warm tears trail down your cheeks, but Joel licks and kisses them away. 
“Wanna feel me inside you?” he asks. “Don’t wanna go too fast, but I need you, baby. Needed you for so long…Sweet little pussy’s just cryin’ for Daddy, huh? Gonna fit me just like a glove, I just know it — if you wanna…”
“Yes, please, fuck me, Daddy! Please, Joel Wanna feel you—ah!” you moan as Joel shoves his entire length into your pussy in one hard thrust eagerly. “Oh my God, please fuck me harder!” you moan, reeling from the deep blend of pain and pleasure of him sinking inside you, clenching down around the thickness of him. “Joel, please!”
He pauses, sweat glistening on his brow, sneering.
“You really want harder?”
You shiver. The way he says that makes your heart beat wildly in your ears.
“Because babygirl, I would treat you like porcelain if you want it so. I will never hurt you, my angel, my gift from god, my goddamn sweetest heart please know I will break my fucking hands before they would hurt you, before I would ever hurt you in a way that you didn’t want, no matter how much it hurt me. Do you understand me?”
“Of course, Joel. But you want it too,” you smirk. “You aren’t innocent in this, are you?”
“Fuck, of course i’m not innocent. I want you, babygirl. In every way there is to want another. Want every inch of you, inside and out. Wanna mark you up so the world knows you’re mine, honey. Want everyone to smell me on you and know I marked you, moved in you, darlin’, please, see, I’m no fucking Hemingway, I didn’t go to college, I’m not like you with words, but I need you to understand that I mean this with my whole chest and heart. Really, I’m not a big talker, never was, babygirl, but I need you to understand I—”
  “I do, you dumbass fucking fool!” you shout, giggling at his desperation. “I’d understand you even if you were speaking another language. You’ve made your intentions loud and clear. I don’t want a Hemingway, I want Joel Miller!”
You pull him in for a kiss and he thrusts in you again a second time and you end up moaning clumsily in his mouth, but you can feel him smiling , smiling like some dumb idiot against you and maybe you called him the correct insult because he is a dumbass fucking fool for you. And it turns out you must be one as well because you are smiling like an idiot for him too.
“ Joel,” you moan as he begins to move inside you, hitting deep places that Max or any of your previous exes never went. Pleasure is tracing itself along the line of your stomach. “Oh my god, I love you so much,” you babble and you’ve never meant that more than you do now.
You can feel Joel coming apart above you, plowing into you, sighing deeply. His grunts and moans and thrusts spur on the intense pleasure. 
“More!” you moan. “Oh my god. Harder, please, I need–”
Joel plants rough bites on your neck and kisses too like he’s trying to consume every inch of you. 
He places a large hand around your throat questioningly and you nod.
“Beg for it,” he commands in his deep, sexy voice — the voice that’s been in every wet dream you’ve ever had. You think you might just pass out from the sound alone. 
“Choke me, Daddy,” you whine as pathetically as you possibly can, batting your eyes. “Oh, please, I could cum from just this, but I want more. More of you. All of you.”
“As you fuckin’ wish, baby,” he snickers in amusement. “Bet no little boy ever fucked you like this, huh?” he growls, continuing his rough pace, slamming against your walls, his eyes growing wild.
“They don’t compare to you, Joel. It’s always been you. In every orgasm. Fuck, never felt like this! Shit! Shit!”
Joel reaches out his large scarred hand and applies gentle delicious pressure to your throat. You know even something like this can be dangerous, but you crave that feral look of violence in his eyes and the power that comes with it. You want him to own you completely – every inch of you. You want him to mark you just like he said he wanted to because he is yours and you are his and has it ever really been any other way? You can’t remember properly from the pleasure rushing through you, the white dove inside you spreading and fluttering its wings, cooing softly. You think it’s only ever been what you feel now.
“Joel, Joel, fuck!” you scream, orgasm building in you.
“I know, babygirl. I know,” he coos himself into your mouth.
He pulls you closer, presses his nose to yours, his lips to yours, biting and kissing like a starving man possessed. He looks into your eyes and it’s there! That look of pure predator closing in on its prey, that look of ownership but also the most intense love you think you’ve ever witnessed. You would recognize that look anywhere. Your starved brain cries out for oxygen beneath his iron grip. 
“Gonna cum again, angel,” Joel growls. “Gonna make you cum so hard you’re never gonna forget who you belong to. Whose pretty pussy this is.”
He is pounding so hard against your cervix and his dick is so big inside you and the pressure of his hand squeezing around you is so overwhelming and the scent of him could make you faint straight then and there, but you let go and feel yourself cumming in enormous waves as you squeeze down around Joel’s prick, the pleasure more intense than any single bodily experience you’ve had.
“ Daddy ,” you whine breathlessly, tears trickling out of your eyes. “Oh my god!”
“You’re mine, babygirl, always have been–FUCK!” he shouts into your throat, collapsing on top of you.
And then you feel him starting to empty himself inside you, painting your sensitive insides with trustful after trustful of hot cum. You’ve never felt so helplessly full and sticky in your life, the brilliant pleasure billowing through every inch of you. You want to feel like this every day, stuffed full of Joel’s cock, so close to him you can feel his heartbeat against yours, the one true place you belong. 
“So beautiful, babygirl,” he whispers in an exhausted type of awe.
When your words come back you reply,
“Shut up, you’re the hot one,” through a snicker. 
You look down at your body, covered in purple bite marks and bruises forming like galaxies across your body. 
Joel snorts. Then he sits up on the couch and you lean your cheek against him. You lean up to kiss his cheek and he blushes ever so slightly.
“I said a lot of stuff, Y/N, but I want you to know that I meant all of it,”
“Yeah, you probably said more in the last hour than you’ve ever uttered in your entire life,” you tease, sitting up.
“I’m serious,” he snickers.
“I am and was too,” you nod. “I’m so glad that you’re here with me — that we did this. I know that our…origin story is weird and unconventional and some might argue straight up wrong, but I need you, Joel. I don’t care about that or think I could go back to pretending to be what we were.”
“You think I’d want you to act like that?” he asks incredulously. “You think I want this to just be a one-time thing?”
“Of course not,” you smirk. “But as close as we are I can’t actually read your mind. I mean…how are we going to be together realistically?”
“I’m not sure,” Joel admits, frowning a little. “For now it has to be a secret unless you want your mother or brother in jail for murdering me this time around. But someday, I dunno. It’s dumb…”
“What?”
“I just have these thoughts sometimes about you ‘n me. I…” Joel’s cheeks turn a bit pink. “Had a lot of time to think in prison, you know? And I’d Imagine us living on a ranch somewhere quiet out in the country with a flock of sheep. I could work at the tractor and auto-body repair shop that’d be out there, you know, in this dream of mine, and you could be a counselor at a local school if that’s what ya wanted. I don’t know, l know it sounds silly, but nobody would know or bother us there. But I want you to finish school and have the best life possible, babygirl. I’d wait a thousand years for you, but if you didn’t want me anymore the way we are now, I’d respect that. And if you’d allow it, I’d still be there for you just in a platonic sense — or just there for you however you want because I can’t imagine my life with you in it. I’d do whatever it takes, brokenhearted or not. I just can’t be separated from you like that again. A day longer in prison and I could’ve keeled over and died. And it’s crazy how much I mean that.”
“I don’t ever want to be separated from you again, Joel,” you agree. “I know the original plan was for you to find work and get an apartment of your own and I would love for that to still happen, but with you being intimate with me in every way – even if it has to be a secret. I don’t pretend to know what the future holds, but I need you in mine. I’ve never needed something more than I need that. Understand?”
Joel pulls you into a hug and leans his chin on the top of your head. He kisses it then your forehead. You lean up and plant a kiss on his throat and then his Adam’s apple.
“Don’t mean to get too ahead of ourselves now. We can take things a day at a time,” he mumbles into your skin.
You yawn contentedly, the tiredness clawing at your eyes, so unbelievably spent.  
“I like hearing about your dreams and I’d go anywhere with you, Joel. But I am kinda dead from how good you just fucked me. Take me to bed?” You ask exhaustedly into his chest.
“Of course, babygirl,” he smirks down at you.
***
You don’t let go of Joel all night long, burrowed up against his chest, his heartbeat against your ear. And he doesn’t let go of you either. After the most intimate night of cuddles and snuggling you’ve ever experienced as well as the deepest and most restful sleep you’ve had in ages, you wake up to Joel gone from the bed. You frown, having wanted more than anything to wake up in his strong arms. Fear grips your insides as you wonder if he finally realized last night was a mistake and that you were never meant to be together in the first place (what you fear more than anything). A stupid vulnerable tear comes to your eye, but then you cock your head and hear music playing. Guitar music. 
You think of your apartment as shitty, but truthfully you care deeply about your little private space and one of the things you do actually love the most about it is the tiny balcony that overlooks a measly courtyard and part of the city. That’s where you find Joel in the deck chair holding his guitar, strumming it lazily.
“Mornin’, beautiful,” he says, fingerpicking a melody that scratches at the back of your mind with familiarity. 
“Morning, handsome,” you tell him softly, plopping your smaller hand down on his shoulder. 
The city hasn’t woken up yet, the soft glow of morning shining beams of light onto you and Joel, filling you with warmth. You sit down in the deck chair next to him, bathing in the sunlight.
“Whatcha playing?” you ask curiously, crouching to sit up on your knees.
“You know the song ‘Hallelujah’ by Leonard Cohen?” Joel asks in that beautifully deep voice of his. 
He isn’t even singing yet but you could listen to him forever. 
“‘Course,” you nod. “It’s a classic. You used to play it for me once in a blue moon.”
“Know what the word ‘Hallelujah’ actually means?” he asks. 
You think about it for a second.
“It’s about praising god and all that, right? Why d’you ask?”
He pauses, both his words and fingerpicking. 
“Babygirl,” he begins and you can tell he’s about to say something serious. “You know I’m not too good with words, but I need you to know this: I’ve never had much to thank god for in my life, except for Sarah, you know? But then He took her away…”
You place your hand on Joel’s and he looks at you sadly, but appreciatively. He flips it over and holds it in his giant paw of his own marked-up hand. 
“And I was so fucking angry. Nothing left in me. The only good part of me gone. I was a broken man. And I hated Him. But then He, despite the shit I’ve done…He gave me you . And I know our road hasn’t been easy or fair, and the pain you’ve felt and I have felt but…I guess what I’m trying to say is you are the reason I believe that any type of…goodness— of holiness— can exist in this universe. And I’m not a religious man, I don’t believe in most of that dogmatic type of shit, and I don’t think you do either, but I do think someone or something is up there and I wanna thank them for you. Does that make sense? Do you wanna hear what I mean? I just feel so damn grateful.”
A tear you hadn’t noticed was there rolls down your cheek. 
“Of course it does and of course I do,” you tell him.
You think perhaps this is the closest thing he can do to bearing his soul to you. 
And then he leans over and kisses the tear away and begins to fingerpick the familiar melody.
♪ “I heard there was a secret chord…”♫
You listen to his deep weathered voice as the sun grows higher in the morning sky, casting both light and shadow over Joel’s wrinkled, handsome face. The light trails over you too. You feel the dove inside you cooing contentedly, dusting its wings gently against the edges of your insides. 
♪There's a blaze of light in every word / It doesn't matter which you heard / The holy or the broken Hallelujah…”♫
When he finishes he places his large, scarred, calloused hand in yours and you hold it between your own scarred fingers.
“Thank you, Joel,” you tell him, meaning every word. “I think there’s hope for us, you know? I don’t believe in hippie-dippie type stuff, but something in this universe did bring us together. And I’ll be forever grateful for that too, ya know?”
Joel squeezes your smaller hand, his big fingers engulfing yours as the dove coos louder inside you.
“Babygirl, you know that I ain’t a good man, or a rich and educated one like maybe you thought you’d end up with, but I am less of a broken one because of you and I’m never letting you go. If we’re together, I think we have a chance.”
A/n:PLEASE COMMENT LIKE REBLOG IM BEGGING IM PLEADING IM CRYING DID THE SMUT LIVE UP TO YOUR DREAMS????
PART 1
PART 3 (coming soon)
Violent Heart Masterlist
Full Masterlist of all my work
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@denileisariver @lochnymph  @mewantpeepaw. @fandomdaydreamer  @r3dheadedwitch
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pupsmailbox · 9 months ago
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MOTH︰BUTTERFLY ID PACK
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NAMES ⌇ acantha. adela. adley. aetheria. aiden. ainsley. alis. allison. amos. angle. ankova. antler. apollo. apple. arches. arden. argent. ari. aruna. ashworth. aspen. asteria. astralyn. atlas. barberry. bay. bee. belina. bellamy. belle. blair. blake. blossom. bright. brighton. bryn. butter. butterfleigh. butterfly. cadi. cai. calesia. cali. canary. carson. cayana. chai. cherry. chouko. cinnabar. cistus. clancy. clifden. cloud. clover. cosmia. crimson. daisy. dakota. december. dewick. dorian. dot. dusk. dust. eclipse. eilira. eilliot. ellison. elnora. emerald. ermina. ermine. esmerelda. esther. evelyn. evern. falena. fern. finley. fisher. flora. fly. flynn. forest. fox. foxglove. galatea. galium. garnet. ghost. ginny. greta. grey. haden. haven. hawk. haworth. hayden. heath. herald. hesperia. holli. hollis. isabella. ismeria. isola. jael. jayden. jersey. july. june. juniper. juno. kahli. kai. karran. karson. kentish. kimko. kit. kori. lace. lackey. langmaid. lepida. light. luca. lucy. luna. lunar. malam. maple. march. mariposa. marlow. marrow. mars. may. micah. mirza. mocha. molie. monroe. moth. mothra. mothy. nettle. november. oak. ocaria. oleander. opal. palmyra. paru. parvaneh. peach. pearl. pepper. pine. pinion. plume. poppy. psyche. quinn. reed. reid. rekoa. remi. riband. ricki. robin. rose. rosy. rowan. ruby. rufous. sable. saffron. saga. saige. scarlet. scotch. sibylla. silver. skyler. sula. swift. tara. tate. tatum. tawny. tera. thora. tiger. una. vanessa. violet. virginia. weaver. winter. wren. yara. zephyr. zephyra. zion. zoumi.
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PRONOUNS ⌇ admir/admiral. ant/antenna. anten/antenna. antler/antler. apple/apple. blood/blood. blue/blue. bu/butterfly. bug/bug. butter/butterfly. carpet/carpet. chalk/chalk. cherry/cherrie. chrysalis/chrysali. clear/clearwing. cloud/cloud. cocoo/cocoon. cocoon/cocoon. dagger/dagger. dark/dark. dew/dew. dot/dot. dusk/dusk. dust/dust. erm/ermine. eye/eye. flame/flame. flap/flap. flow/flower. flu/fluttflutter. fluff/fluff. fluff/luff. flutter/flutter. fly/fly. forest/forest. fri/fritillary. frit/fritillery. goat/goat. gold/gold. hair/hairstreak. hawk/hawk. hawk/hawkmoth. heart/heart. hide/hide. hook/hook. in/insect. insect/insect. lace/lace. lamp/lamp. leaf/leaf. lepidoptera/lepidoptera. light/light. lu/luna. luna/luna. lunar/lunar. maple/maple. mo/monarch. mo/moth. mocha/mocha. moon/moon. mor/morpho. moth/moth. nec/nectar. night/night. night/night. nocturnal/nocturnal. noct/nocturnal. oak/oak. plume/plume. reed/reed. riph/ripheu. rose/rose. sallow/sallow. shark/shark. sil/silk. silk/silk. small/small. snout/snout. squeak/squeak. squeak/squeaker. stripe/stripe. sul/sulphur. swa/swallow. swa/tail. swall/swallowtail. swift/swift. tiny/tiny. tuss/tussock. wax/waxe. wing/wing. ☁️ . ⭐️ . 🌕 . 💡 . 🦋 .
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catacombbee · 5 months ago
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school bus graveyard headcanons because im thinking about them
and because im projecting
just general / random headcanons
Tyler has arachnophobia and entomophobia. creepy crawlies are a HARD NO for Mr. Hernandez. Jackass bullies? No problem. Phantoms trying to eat him? Easy. Tree? Been there, done that. Fucking spiders? get it the FUCK away. mans has a visceral skin crawling reaction to even SEEING something creepy crawlie. it's one of the only things that makes him seriously panic other than yk someone being hurt
Ashlyn has autism yes this is basically canon i think. BUT Ashlyn has a lot of texture sensitivities both with clothes and with food. itchy scratchy clothes are a no. she cannot stand t-shirts keeping their tags they rub and scratch her neck and it makes her want to scream. she cuts the tags out before wearing anything. and food she can't have anything too squishy or tough or else she just loses her appetite entirely.
^^ to build on the clothing tags. everyone else in the group cuts the tags out of their jackets/hoodies and some shirts so if Ashlyn wants to borrow something she can be comfortable
Aiden is down bad for someone wearing his clothes. this can apply to any ship you want, i like him with Ashlyn Tyler or Logan (ive like never seen any talk abt Aidgan? Loden?) but regardless. whoever it is Aiden likes he gets so giddy butterflies giggly seeing someone wear his clothes. this is moreso for Ashlyn or maybe Logan because Ashlyn is so much smaller than Aiden that his sweatshirt would probably hang off her and Aiden would just abdjshfkefbns she's so cute!! this is mostly an Aidlyn hc for me but Logan would also be cute in anyone else's sweatshirt
uh if it's not clear by now im a multishipper ive said it before BUT i like Tyben a lot. they find calm and quiet in each other and bond through expressing themselves through something much healthier: music. i adore Tyben. AND because of Ben in the canvas webtoon: Tyler calls him ladybug. "Hey ladybug" "It's okay ladybug ive got you" "ladybug, you okay?"
kinda related to previous one but like blush hc. Ben does not blush. maybe a little pink on his cheeks. but his EARS. his ears get so RED when he's angry or when he's flustered. his face might be 😐 but you look at his ears and they're red you know he's flustered
ALSO everyone learned ASL for Ben so he didn't have to just use notes n stuff. Aiden was already learning but everyone else picked up on it
Logan likes compact spaces, they male him feel safe and secure. Like the tire! He feels very nice and snuggly in his tire. But also like. under beds. in closets (haha). one time they played hide and seek in Aiden's house and Logan won because he fell asleep curled up in an empty cabinet. Logan loves being little spoon because he just fits snugly in everyone's arms
it's been mentioned Tyler plays guitar, but i hc that he's also a really good artist. because he got into baseball for a scholarship he's kinda dropped both art and music, but in getting to know the others and especially Ben he gets back into playing music which leads to him drawing again. he doodles pictures of his friends and they realize what a good artist he is. that's how he realizes he actually has passion for creativity and decides he wants to be a tattoo artist.
(i was writing a tyden tattoo artist Tyler au on a reblog draft from a post @\the-killies made and like forgot abt it. someone peer pressure me if you think that sounds like snth you wanna read. it was probably over 1k words by the time i forgor)
Taylor likes mechanics (cus. the club) but she also knows some programming. this is solely because I think Taylor would like making little robots just for fun. Aiden would beg her to make him a little robot like that one companion toy robot Cosmo
in canvas sbg Logan brought a bunch of clothes for them to wear in the pictures/videos they took. so. Logan likes cosplay and renn faires. History is one of his favorite subjects (the other being science. english/literature is a very close third. he doesn't dislike math just isn't his favorite) so he has a lot of clothes from different time periods because of the renn faires he's been to.
This is a really unhinged headcanon and isn't something ive ever thought about before but thinking about Logan having outfits and stuff made me think who would be the most likely to be a furry. and no not Logan. it would be Aiden. hes rich enough to splurge on his fursuit. THIS IS A JOKE I DONT HC HIM AS A FURRY THIS IS A "WHOS MOST LIKELY TO" PLEAS
Aiden's favorite subject is history, he likes reading about wars but he also enjoys learning about other cultures and differences from how we live in modern day America. Aiden would probably study anthropology just for the fun of it. he and Logan bond over their love of history. Aiden can't remember what he had for lunch yesterday but he can tell you every little detail he knows about the Civil War start to finish, dates and names and locations and all.
this is a really weird hc but. Ashlyn is an amazing rapper. there was a karaoke night and one song someone did had a rap part coming up and they were like ahaha it's too fast for me and Ashlyn just stood up. took the mic. and fucking blew everyone's minds. and then she sat down like she didnt just rock their world
this last bit is self indulgent. assuming the phantom world things don't last forever, the kids get therapy eventually :D
^^ building on that, Ben specifically, he lives in my head rent free. i love him sm. Ben gets therapy for not just the phantom world things but everything beforehand. slowly and surely, starting with Aiden and Lily and maybe whichever person he's shipped with, he starts talking again. Some days are better than others, sometimes he gets quiet again, other times he goes for days talking as much as anyone (except aiden he yaps.) everyone almost cries when Ben is doing something and begins singing to himself because they realize he's better
im gonna do like gender & sexuality headcanons too,,, maybe later. might do silly ship hcs too cus i ship so many pairings here
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spidercoris · 5 months ago
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ben headconons maybe😞?
ooh this one might be hard i don’t have that many for him. lets see…
ben headcanons 🎶
- ladybugs are his favorite type of bug (took this from canvas)
- he dislikes going underwater, something about not being able to breath kinda brings back some… bad memories…
- whenever taylor sings, he has this feeling of dread but also a feeling of happiness? like he’s glad other people get to experience what he couldn’t but at the same time… there’s people experiencing things that he COULDNT.
- he would love to see a broadway show. specifically the lion king i don’t know why.
- he does origami as a way to calm him down. he’s pretty good at it and almost always gets it right the first time. if not he might get a big agitated and crumple the paper and throw it away
- if he shares his earbuds with you, consider yourself to be really close to him. it’s like his sign of friendship and it says “yeah i’m comfortable with you, let’s listen to music together :)”
- he’s a good artist and tends to draw pretty things he sees. i’m a benlor fan so i like to imagine he does little sketches of taylor in his notebook. he also likes drawing butterflies (and ladybugs for obvious reasons)
- he LOVES ghibli movies. something about them reallr calms him. he watched in both sub and dub cause he has no preference
- has been dressed up as a princess before playing dress up with lily? most definitely. and she put the most horrid makeup on him too (aiden has pictures)
annddddd that’s all i got :3
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flx-res · 2 years ago
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my two last brain cells be like:
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cloudysunflowr · 4 months ago
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Hello!! These two paragraphs got me thinking;
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If Aiden is one of the few that can see Frank, and the others in the village only have an idea of what Frank looks like; if Aiden asks, would Frank ever allow him to draw them? Then the village would know what they look like instead of just having a general idea of it?
Also, will Aiden ever learn that Wally is a deity in this AU or will he remain oblivious to it? I imagine Wally would tell him accidentally in some off handed comment and then Aiden would have a realisation moment and start treating Wally with like.. more respect (reverence?)? Then Wally would have to tell him that he can keep treating him normally
Hi hi! :oD
Frank would! He doesn’t mind being properly represented, and Aiden seemed so excited too…
Though his art skills in this lifetime leave room for improvement, they can sort of understand it! And Aiden corrects where he can.
His home is actually the few that have the most accurate depiction of Frank, but that doesn’t make him care for the others any less. His statue is in his temple a top a mountain and inside a cave, surrounded by butterflies and bugs.
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°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𐦍༘⋆ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𐦍༘⋆ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𐦍༘⋆ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𐦍༘⋆
As for your second query, yes! Aiden finds out Wally is a deity a little further into the relationship, but before they start to date. I imagine it happening on a walk together, Aiden being so confused by how curious Wally is, as if he’s never been on land before. And when asking, Wally just tells him, he trusts him, he knows Frank wouldn’t just choose anyone. At first Aiden wouldn’t believe him, does he look dumb? And Wally wouldn’t try so hard to convince him, he knows it’ll happen in due time. And it does, Aidens gut tells him so and he follows the sirens call one day, seeing it was Wally in his deity form…Hehe, and yes, Aiden does freak out at first but Wally reassures him to not treat him any different as before. Takes a bit, but he does. He was his friend to him before he was a deity to him. And it’s not hard to keep his secret either, Wally can easily blend in as the friendly stranger welcomed in, and overall very few find out the truth.
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urfavlarry · 21 hours ago
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— Healing
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Aiden Clark x touch starved!reader
genre: sligh angst to fluff
warnings: mentions of a slightly emotionally unavailable family, not proof read
You didn’t exactly grow up in a very affectionate family. Yes, you grew up in a very caring family but they weren’t really present when it came to comfort or the already said affection. You got hugged as a kid, but it was more on birthdays than on normal days where you had to ask to get that bit of warmth you so longed for. But even then it wasn’t enough to fill that hole that you thought would never ever be full.
Maybe it was fate that you met with the most amazing boy who always had his hands on you—in a non sexual way of course. But it all felt so foreign that you didn’t have a clue of how to reciprocate those actions.
Aiden was a very.. energetic boy to put it lightly. It really was a shocker to all of your friends that you— a very isolated and awkward person got together with the social butterfly that never kept his hands to himself when it came to you. Whether it was him having a hand around your waist, shoulder or holding hands, having a hand on your thigh.. he gave you his all. It overwhelmed you and you had no idea why since you did get affection as a kid but if you ever described that affection to someone they’d probably give you a big reality check. You couldn’t blame your parents though. They grew up with little to no affection at all just like you, their parents or your grandparents being very busy people during their younger years and weren’t so present like they were in your life, so you had to be grateful for the effort they put in when raising you.
You were going over to Aidens house, walking to the front door of the large looking house when the blonde boy swung the door open and pulled you into a hug. You kind of just stood there, your body stiff. You patted him awkwardly on the back and Aiden pulled away. “Come on let’s go upstairs, yeah?” Before you could reply you were off the ground and holding onto Aiden for dear life, your legs wrapped around his face while your hands were around his neck. He sat down on his bed with you now sitting in his lap with an uncomfortable expression. His smile dimmed at this, cupping your cheek and looked into your eyes. “Whats wrong baby, you feeling okay?” He asked in a worrisome tone and traced circles on your lower back.
He was left with only a simple shrug as an answer, your tongue frozen and your voice unable to be heard. You squirmed at his touch, the touch foreign and confusing which was nothing you haven’t thought before but you couldn’t help to always have that single statement lingering in your mind.
He pulled you off his lap and sat in front of you on the floor, his warm hands holding your own. “Is this okay?” He asked hesitantly. He wasn’t sure how to comfort people in situations like these— his usual humorous solutions to things unable to come out when it came to you being upset. He wanted to take all of this seriously, he tried his hardest to be there for you and understand what you were feeling when he couldn’t understand his own feelings most of the time. You nodded, tracing circles on his hands like he would; were you allowed to do this?
“We don’t have to talk, you know? We can just sit here in silence until you feel like doing something else, hm?” He asks with a soft smile. “Yeah that would- that would be great.” You say; barely above a whisper. “Thank you. And I’m sorry for being so difficult.” Aiden furrowed his brows, looking at you with a sympathetic look; “No, no you don’t need to apologise, especially for being uncomfortable. We can always talk about this.. you know, boundaries?” He suggests and you nod with a more truthful smile.
“You don’t ever need to earn my affection, nor do you ever need to ask for it. Whenever you feel like wanting a hug just come up to me and hug me. I’d be more then happy to have you in my arms.” Your cheeks felt hotter then usual, the words hitting a certain spot in your heart that has never been touched before in your life. It felt so amazing to have a boy so caring and understanding as him, but you just didn’t know how you deserved someone like him. “I.. could use a hug right now.” He smirked, his playful personality switching on again as if someome pressed a button in his brain that automatically alterered the way he was. “You’re blushing? How adorable.” He whispered and pulled you close, burying his face into your neck and held you by the waist.
Never have you felt so loved and heard before then at that moment— in his arms, safe and forever warm with the gentle sound of TWO SOULS COMBINED.
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© URFAVLARRY
DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE OR COPY ANY OF MY WRITING TO OTHER PLATFORMS
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itstivan · 9 months ago
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I completely forgot to do it on Valentine’s day.. but anyways!!
Here’s you School Bus Graveyard Valentine’s day headcanons!!
How the group would react to being asked to be someone’s Valentine:
Ashlyn: Literally just stares in confusion, trying to process what has just been said to her. After she finally processes, she gets super shy and her face turns red.
Aiden: Gets super excited and probably does a little jump in the air. Then plays it off cool, while grinning like a maniac. (more than he already does)
Taylor: Gets super happy, and grabs whoever asked hand. Probably blushes a little, and excitedly says yes.
Tyler: Would probably yell “What?!” on accident because of how shocked he is. Also gets SUPER flustered and sweaty. Gets little butterflies in his stomach. Probably rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet and heels because he's nervous.
Ben: Blushes a lot and nods. Probably hugs the person who asked as well.
Logan: Probably says something like “Wait what? Who me? ME?!” While stuttering because of how confused he is. Blushes a little, and plays with his hands. Flustered because he’s never really had a love life or a crush.
Valentines Dates/Gifts
Ashlyn:
She's not very good at gift giving for Valentines. Or in general. She’d probably get her crush a card, or some simple stuff. She’d try her best though. Maybe a plushie.
Ashlyn’s love language is being in each other's presence. So even just watching movies together on Valentine's Day would be enough for her. Or just doing something together like baking (though she might not be the best at it), or doing something crafty (again not the best at it), or listening to music.
Since she’s not good with audible words, she’d probably write a heartfelt letter to her crush explaining everything.
She’s never had any relationship (or friendship..) experience, so she’s super stiff on a Valentine’s Day date, unless she’s in a place she feels comfortable.
Aiden:
Aiden is amazing at gift giving. Even though he is always rambling, if he overhears his crush saying that they were looking into getting a certain item, or that they want a certain item, he would 100% get it for them. Especially if it's expensive.
He thinks he could buy their love LMAO 😭
Aiden’s language is physical touch, so probably any type of activity where he can be able to contact his crush, he’d like. For example, shopping and holding hands, playing with their hair, watching movies and him laying his legs on their lap (he’s also playing with a rubix cube).
Or he’d drag them to like laser tag or rock climbing. Or even a trampoline park. He’d also buy all the food if they went to a cafe or something.
Has literally never had any relationship experience, so he doesn’t know what's right or wrong/ too fast or too slow on a date or as Valentines.
Taylor:
I think Taylor would be very crafty with her gift giving. She probably makes homemade stuff, and stuff that comes from the heart. She’d be the type of person to weld a flower with bolts and stuff LMAO. She always puts A LOT of thought into her gifts, she wants them to be perfect and pretty to show how much she cares. She was always a big DIY crafter when it came to gifts cause she never wanted to bother her mom or Tyler.
Taylor’s love language is communicating, so she’d probably enjoy dates that she had lots of time to talk with her crush. Cafe dates, pottery dates, mall dates, etc. She loves listening and talking and always tries to remember what her crush says for future references. Would probably give her crush a little peck on the cheek at the end of the day.
Probably had two or three relationships in middle school, but they weren’t big. Has had crushes in the past.
Tyler:
I feel like Tyler would be pretty okay at gift giving. But he gets a bit indecisive and overthinks the gift. His gifts would be a mix between something bought and something made. But either way, he’d put a lot of care and thought into them to make sure they're perfect.
Tyler’s love language is protecting. So any kind of date where he could be somewhat close to you would be good. A cafe date, movie date, baking date, stay at home enjoying each other’s company date, etc. He’d also walk near the road so his crush could be safe on the sidewalk. He’d prefer dates where it’s one on one with each other, because he would constantly be stressing about keeping his crush safe and okay. Near the end of the date, he’d probably hold his crush’s hand.
Doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience, but has one or two crushes in the past.
Ben:
Ben isn’t that creative with his gift ideas. But he’s still decent at gift giving. He’d probably give his crush their favorite albums on records/cds, a poster of their favorite artist, a playlist, or he’d burn a cd of songs that reminds him of them. He speaks through music, so this would be the best way to communicate his feelings. He would 100% learn his crush’s favorite song on guitar just for them.
Ben’s love language is music, so any type of dating revolving around music would be good. Maybe looking around a record shop or music store. As well as just hanging out in each other’s room listening to music and suggesting songs.
I also feel like if he feels super comfortable around his crush, he would accidentally fall asleep.
Probably had one crush in the past but never acted on it. No relationship experience.
Logan:
Would be relatively good at gift giving. If his crush read books, he’d read their favorite book and leave annotations of his thoughts and stuff. Or he’d buy them some type of books. Or even get them a flower/plant that reminds him of them. He’d probably also make DIY stuff, but wouldn’t be the best at it.
Logan’s love language is doing each other’s hobbies together. So I personally think he’d be fine with most activities. Pottery dates, shopping, painting, baking, talking about interests at each other’s houses, walking in the park, building legos (don’t ask why, I just feel like he’d like doing that with his crush), etc.
He’s pretty flustered throughout the whole date because he’s never had any relationships, and probably only one past crush.
^^^^
for the dates, gifts, and reactions I believe this is how they’d act if they were with someone in the comic. NOT THE READER!! just thought to clarify just in case :D
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aidendh · 11 months ago
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RAU! Amelia/Adrik Harris
2 years after the Persona Arc, Adrik and his brothers would spend another year in Japan
This gets them involved in Bungou Stray Dogs
Adrik decides to lay low and slowly infiltrate the Decay of Angles
Despite this, Adrik is simply monitoring the show, not planning to help any side
During the Dragon's Breath Incident he and Abell do their own little get together, being one with their Abilities after all
Unfortunately, Akira believes he's the one doing Fyodor's acts
Adrik asked Suke to make his Dead Apple outfit, he also made him a kimono
The skirt is detachable and has Fyodor's jacket design, the cape with the kimono is just Adrik's emotional support blanket
Adrik Harris (19)
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An Incarnate who dreams of opening a Café someday
Ability: Crime and Punishment
Diagnosed with Schizophrenia
Death: Killed by K!Mori
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Adrik Harris (Dead Apple/Formal)(19)
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An Incarnate who dreams of opening a Café someday
Ability: Crime and Punishment
Diagnosed with Schizophrenia
Death: Killed by K!Mori
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-:Miraculous:-
Redesigned his Mouse Miraculous outfit
Krysa is rat in Russian
Prefers to ride upon his teammates, guiding them through his plans
His clones can be easily described as a daycare
Claimed He/They despite the dress, he just likes the swoosh swoosh
Often trips up opponents and is quite unhinged, even trying to strangle them with his jump-rope
Krysa
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A Temporary Strategist who's clones act like a daycare
Power: Multitude* Shrinks him into multiple clones
Miraculous: Coin Pendant (bow)
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If given the Butterfly Miraculous, he'd respect Nooroo's wishes to only use it for good and spoil the h*ll out of him
He names himself Babochka, Butterfly in Russian
His brother Suke loves saying 'Baboshka' to wind Adrik up and because he finds it fun to say
Adrik hadn't realized how much he missed Nooroo until he ended up crying with him
Babochka
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A Miraculous Vigilante who takes good care of Nooroo
Power: Metamorphosis* Gives his target superpowers
Miraculous: Brooch (under shirt)
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At the age of 18, Adrik and his siblings are moved out of their Mother's and given to the Twins' Father
Though when he's 19, Suke moves out and back to Lingfield
Adrik spends a week each month over at his Twin's place until he eventually moves in with him in August
He also has another outfit he sometimes wears
He starts wearing this hair style when out
Adrik Harris (19)
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An Incarnate who dreams of opening a Café someday
Ability: Crime and Punishment
Diagnosed with Schizophrenia
Death: Killed by K!Mori
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Adrik uses a White Messenger bag, whereas his
Brother uses a Black one
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